


Losing Control

by jade_95



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alternate Universe- College professor/student, Angst, F/M, Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Possessive Zero, Sex in a Car, Slow Build, Zero is still a basketball player (college), mild drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:02:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_95/pseuds/jade_95
Summary: Jude is a young new Assistant Professor at UCLA. Zero is his student, and a star player with the Bruins. Once their paths cross, nothing in their well planned out lives will ever be the same.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy the new AU I put together. I've definitely got some ideas for this story. Please let me know what you think. Feedback is very appreciated!

As Jude stepped through the front doors of the old brick building, he could hardly believe this day had finally come. When he was a young boy he always dreamed he would be working on this very campus. 

Jude remembers well the first time he walked down these hallowed halls. 

One summer when he was ten years old, his parents went off on yet another one of their European holidays. He was once again left behind with his mom’s brother. Not that Jude complained. His uncle was a kind hearted man with a witty sense of humor that always made him feel at home. He also happened to be a Professor at UCLA. Jude reveled in the times he was able to be with him, especially when he got to tag along to his classroom. 

Other kids dreamed of being a doctor, an astronaut, or a sports star, but not Jude. He wanted to be like his uncle. Strong, intelligent, and commanding. Everyone paying attention when he spoke. His knowledge guiding his students to a higher level of understanding. 

That’s what Jude always wanted. He didn’t care how nerdy that sounded. From that moment on, that’s where he set his sights. 

Jude has always been a smart and driven student. He graduated from high school at 17, going right into college and finishing in three years. He finished his masters in two, and PhD in psychology 5 years later. 

He knew at 28 he was one of the youngest professors on the campus, hell if not the youngest, but he had every intention of doing his best and proving to them even someone his age can do an amazing job even right out of the gate.

Taking a deep breath Jude hiked up the strap of his new leather duffle bag, and walked through the doors of his classroom. 

He wanted to get an early start preparing for his class. He glances up at the clock. A half hour left. Plenty of time to get situated before his students came piling in. 

Jude adjusts his tie, and does one last straightening of the items on his desk. Just a few minutes to go. He starts to hear the rumble of voices coming down the hall. 

‘It’s show time,’ he thinks to himself, as he decides to look busy as they walk in instead of staring at the door. He starts scribbling notes on a pad as the first of the students enter the classroom. 

 

\----------

 

After the day Zero has been having the last thing he feels like is sitting through another class. With it being the beginning of the year the coach has been riding them hard, so late nights and early days have become the norm.

Ever since he got a full ride scholarship to UCLA, Zero has been the star of the team. Sure there’s been some other great, even phenomenal players, but with his game winning points and charm to boot, Zero’s star power was undeniable.

With the new pressure of being team captain, and already politics going on within the team, he was just ready for this day to be over, and although he actually liked his psychology classes, he wasn’t ready for another stuffy bore of a teacher. 

He glances back down at his itinerary, “Pfft, Assistant Professor Kinkade, can you get anymore stuffy and boring then that?” he mumbles to himself. 

“What are you going on about?” Derek smirks playfully giving him a shove.

“Careful man, my arms are killing me.” 

“Wimp.” Derek chides.

“Wimp my ass, apparently coach thinks doing about 300 pull-downs is gonna improve my game.” Zero says as he rubs his arm.

“Well, you do need improvement.” Derek smirks, moving away just fast enough to miss Zero’s punch.

“Fucker, what do you know.” Zero laughs as they walk into their classroom.

The two keep talking all the way to their seats. Zero plops down and proceeds to take his books and pen out of his bag. 

“Welcome class,” Zero looks up to the front of the room, where the chipper voice is coming from. “I’m Assistant Professor Kinkade, and I am happy to say I will be your instructor this semester.” 

Zero’s jaw lands somewhere in the vicinity of his feet. He closes it promptly hoping that didn't already attract attention. The man that stood in front of him was gorgeous. A fucking wet dream come to life if Zero was being honest with himself. There’s no way this guy was his real instructor. He can’t be older then, what…27, 28? Weren’t professors supposed to be old?! Zero’s day just got a whole lot better.

“But you can call me Dr. K, or Dr. Jude, or just plain professor, I’m not picky.” Jude beamed trying to tap down his excitement so he didn’t look too over anxious. He leaned back on his desk crossing his legs at his ankles, hoping to strike a casual pose. 

“As I’m sure you already know, this is Psych 364, Stereotyping and Prejudice. This course will survey psychological theories explaining stereotypes and prejudices in their many forms. These include reactions to individuals based on ethnic and racial groups, sex, sexual orientation, age, and other social groups. We will focus on the causes of stereotypes and prejudice, the ways they are maintained, their consequences, and ways they might be reduced.”

“Most of you are Psychology major’s, and some are taking this as an extra class, but I hope all of you get some educational fulfillment out of it.”

“Ok, let’s get started.” Jude states as he stands up clapping his hands together.

Zero swears he’s trying to get his mind on track and listen to what the guy just said, something about theories and stereotyping, but once the word sex came out of Dr. K, Dr. Jude, fucking sex on legs mouth, the rest just kind of blurred together. 

Zero’s pretty sure he hasn’t had such a visceral reaction to anyone ever. It’s been a whole 25 minutes of class and all Zero can think of is ripping off that pristine suit and tie and sullying the man up. Yeah, Zero’s pretty sure there’s gonna be a lot of cold showers in his future this semester.

As far back as he remembers Zero has been attracted to both guys, and girls. Although he hasn’t had his last hookup with a man in over two years. Being the star basketball player of the UCLA Bruins has its perks, but being an openly bisexual player isn’t one of them. 

He met his current girlfriend, Jelena, during his second year here. Zero sometimes rolls his eyes at the cliché basketball player and his cheerleader girlfriend, but since they met they pretty much clicked. Some friends set them up and they have been an item ever since. She’s nice to have around most of the time, but Zero admits she can be a bitch sometimes. 

And while she basically fulfills him sexually, there’s something that’s missing. Zero’s known it all along, and it’s not like he’s using her really, it’s just that she’s been convenient and for the most part hassle free. And besides no one has really turned his head. Well, until now.

“So this week and going into next we’ll continue to go over how psychologists study prejudice, and the development of prejudice. By the end of next week I would like a three page paper on how you have been the victim of prejudice in your life, and expand on how that made you feel, and how you responded to it.” 

“On top of that I would like you to read and summarize chapters 4, 5 and 6 and have those on my desk by next Friday."

Thanks class, see you next week.” Jude states as he takes a seat back behind his desk. 

“Fuck man, it’s gonna be a long semester,” Derek groans as he gets up from the seat beside Zero. “Two damn papers due by next week, is the guy nuts?!” 

Shit, Zero just spaced out, and completely missed everything sex on legs was saying. Zero has an idea.

“Yeah, I hope so…I mean,” he shakes his head realizing his mistake, “it is man, it is. Hey you go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later.” Zero says slapping Derek on the shoulder.

“Ok man, I’ll text you later.” Derek replies as he walks out the door.

Zero is taking his time at his desk, letting everyone file out of the room. 

Jude is writing something down on a notepad, as Zero approaches. He clears his throat trying to get the professors attention. 

He sets down his pen looking up at Zero. “Oh sorry.” Jude states. “I thought everyone was gone. Can I help you?”

Zero gulps. It’s one thing to be sitting in the back of class and looking at this man, but up this close, shit, he’s half hard in his pants. 

“Yeah, um…I… ah…” God, Zero feels like an idiot. Where is all that bravado he’s so known for?!

He clears his throat and tries again. “I just wanted to clarify what the homework assignment was.” 

“Oh, of course!” Jude answers lighting up. “What did you need clarification on?”

“Well, everything.” Zero winces a little at the thought of this man thinking of him as a lagger. 

“I’m sorry,” ‘I’m really not,’ he thinks, “but it’s been a long day and I’m pretty beat, so I spaced out a bit in class.” ‘Yeah, that sounds good’ Zero concedes in his head.

“Sure, by next Friday, you need to have two separate papers turned in. The one covering chapters 4, 5, and 6, and the one about an experience you’ve had in your life of some sort of prejudice.” 

“What if I’ve never experienced a prejudice?” Zero replies, thinking that ‘denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.’ 

“Never, Mr. Delaney?” Jude replies after a pause. “You never in your life felt you were judged by a preconceived stereotype or prejudice?” 

“You know my name?” Zero states, completely ignoring the second part of the question, not willing to breach that subject just yet.

“I’m your professor, of course I know your name.” Jude replies. 

“We didn’t take roster.” He states licking his lips, very pleased at this fact. 

“I may be a professor, but I’m not impervious to the goings on around campus. I’ve seen you at a few games. You’re a very good ball player.” Jude states matter of fact, ignoring the heated look in his student’s eyes.

“And you’ve been to my games?” Zero states eyebrow raised.

“Yes I have, and that surprises you?” Jude replies feeling like he may need to put an end to this conversation.

“No…no…actually it delights me.” Zero replies, with a new sparkle in his eyes.

Jude breaks eye contact looking down. “Will that be all, Mr. Delaney?” 

“Not by a long shot, but it will be for now.” Zero says as he starts walking backwards towards the door. 

“See you next week, professor. Oh, and by the way…you can call me Zero.” He says with a wicked smile, as he pulls open the door and with one last look heads out.

Jude just stares at the door Zero just stepped through. What the hell was that? If he didn’t know any better the guy was flirting with him. 

He’s heard about this ball player’s infamous charm, and obviously he’s using it to his full advantage on Jude. Must be some ploy to make sure he keeps a good grade in this class. He knows that team members have to keep up a certain GPA to stay on the basketball team. And besides, everyone knows pretty damn well his other half is Jelena Howard, head cheerleader of the Bruins.

But those searing looks he was getting throughout class? Even when Jude would look at the younger man he wouldn’t even glance away. The look in his eyes making Jude need to break eye contact before the blush he felt creeping up his neck took over his whole face.

Jude shakes his head. He’s being ridiculous. And besides, he may not be in the closet, but the only people on this campus who know for sure he’s gay is the Dean who hired him, and a fellow professor who just happens to be a good friend. 

He’s sure the guy’s just playing him. That must be it. He’s always been cautious of sports types trying to get a free ride, and this guy is no different. No matter if he’s the best looking guy Jude’s ever seen.

Jude firmly shoves that thought way, way down, and throws some bricks on it. No room around here for thoughts like that.

He starts packing up his things into his duffle bag. Besides the slight hick-up with that student, he’s pleased how today went. The class seemed engaged and really interested in the subject. Giving great feedback, and asking thoughtful questions. 

Yeah, he’d say it was a successful first day.

Jude glances at his watch. He’s got a few hours until his next class. Plenty of time to go for a workout to burn off some of this pent up energy the feeling of accomplishment always gives him.

He hikes the strap up on his shoulder, and heads out the door towards the school gym. Hoping he gets there before the weekend crowd arrives.


	2. Chapter 2

At the beginning of his psych class Zero was completely wiped out, but after being around that new professor of his he has a new found surge of energy he needs to somehow expel.

Zero’s hoping that maybe getting out of direct vicinity of the man will bring him back to his senses, and help him remember who he is, and what he has. A girlfriend for fucks sake, and a position that would completely shun him for having a boyfriend. Talk about stereotyping and prejudice. Athletes wrote the book.

He’s not sure how well that’s working. He can’t seem to get those eyes, and that body out of his mind. Not to mention how the timbre of his voice went straight to his dick. Yeah, he needs stronger tactics.

A good, hard basketball game always does the trick to clear his mind.

He pulls out his phone and sends Derek a text. _‘Hey loser, you up for a game?’_

_‘I thought you were sore wimp?’_ his phone beeps back.

_‘Well I’m better now. And feel like kicking your ass just for fun’_

_‘Oh it’s on. Where we meeting?’_

_‘The outside court, by Kinross fitness center.’_ Zero sends back. Perfect place, he thinks, good and far from the psych building.

_‘You got it, meet you in half an hour’_

_‘Cool, I’ll call Terrance and Josh, have them rustle up a few more people.’_

_‘Awesome, loser buys the beer.’_ Derek grins, loving giving his friend shit.

_‘Ha! Remember I like Miller Light’_ Zero immediately replies.

_‘Figures you’d like that horse piss.’_

Zero huffs, not even gracing that with a reply.

Zero already feels a little bit more balanced even after that quick conversation. He just got a little off track, he’ll be fine.

He knows exactly what will make him feel 100% again.

He pulls up Jelena’s number.

‘Hey babe.” She purr’s into the phone.

“Hey, where are you?” He replies.

“Getting mani and pedi’s with the girls. After the day we had we decided to pamper ourselves.”

“Hard day in class?”

“God yes, I think my instructor decided she hates cheerleaders, and she’s taking her wrath out on me. She assigned an insane amount of homework this week. ”

“I doubt that Jelena, you’re not the only one in that class.” Zero replies with a smirk.

“Yeah, but I’m the most well-known. I mean, how does she expect me to get all that done along with cheerleading practice, and games?!” She squawks.

“Probably because you’re in college now, and not high school. Large amounts of homework is kind of expected.” He replies, rolling his eyes. The girl was never short on ego.

“So how bout dinner tonight?” he asks, changing the subject.

“I don’t know, Kyle’s having the girls over tonight. We’re going over the new routine, and then plan on getting pretty wasted…but maybe tomorrow? I could even give you a private showing.”

Zero sighs. “Tomorrow night the coach is having us do conditioning training for the upcoming game, and if we miss it for anything short of a life threatening virus he’ll hand us our ass.”

“Well fuck Zero, what do you expect me to do, always rearrange my plan’s for you, I don’t think so! I mean my time is just as precious as yours you know!” She spats into the phone.

Zero runs a hand down his face. He’s so not in the mood for this.

“Whatever Jelena. You do your thing, and I’ll call you Sunday, and we’ll figure out next week.” He sighs, wondering once again why he puts up with this women.

“Fine. And don’t forget, you promised you’d help get the booze for Kyle’s party in 2 weeks.”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember. Talk to you later.” He states hanging up the phone.

“God she can be a pain in the ass.” He mumbles shaking his head.

‘Fuck it, he doesn’t need her anyway. Guess it’s gonna be me and my right hand tonight.’ He thinks as he cuts through the common area to get to his room, so he can quickly change and head to the court.

Instantly, full pouty lips, long eyelashes, and brown eyes all of which definitely aren’t Jelena’s pop into his mind. He ignores the heat pooling low in his belly at the thought.

He quickens his steps, thinking he can’t get to the court fast enough.

 

\----------

 

Jude steps out of the gym feeling rejuvenated. He got some cardio and a six mile run in with some time to spare.

As he’s walking down the path to his car, he notices a lively game going on at the nearby court. Looks like skins versus shirts. He slows down his pace to take in some of the game. He notices a few of his students are playing, and many that play for the Bruins.He looks at his watch once again, and decides he’s got enough time to check it out for a while.

“Look who showed up man.” Derek says as he elbows Zero.

Zero turns to look, shielding his eyes from the lowering sun.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” he states, trying to hide the fact that his brain has completely seized up taking in the tall man in a tight fitting tank top and low riding shorts. ‘Fat chance of clearing my mind’ he thinks, throwing his sweaty towel on the bench.

“What’s your problem? Derek replies, misjudging Zero’s response. “He didn’t seem all too bad, except for the shit ton of work he gave us. Looks in pretty good shape too… let’s ask him to play.” Derek says already heading toward the professor.

Before Zero’s brain can get with the program and realizes what Derek just said, the man is already standing in front of Jude.

‘Oh fuck, this can’t be good.’ Zero thinks, gulping down some water trying to relieve his suddenly dry mouth.

As Jude approached he noticed right away the blond from class. He’s been to a couple of his games in the past, and to be honest Jude always liked watching him play. The guy has real talent. And with the way he handles himself, it’s evident he’s someone that’s comfortable in his own skin. Even Jude can admit the two together make for a mesmerizing combination.

Jude watches as one of the guys from his class, he doesn’t remember his name, jogs toward him.

“Hey teach, how’s it hangin?” Derek says with a big grin on his face.

Jude’s taken a little off guard at being approached, but is quick with a retort.

“Hey, not bad man. And a little to the left.” Jude replies with a matching grin.

“Ohhh! TMI dude! T.M.I!! Derek answers hands up as if trying to block the words.

This gets a full belly laugh out of Jude. He knows he’s somewhat close in age with these guys and it makes sense he would get along with them, but sometimes with the barrier of teacher between them it doesn’t always happen. But it definitely feels good when it does.

Zero’s brain short circuits at the sight before him. Whatever Derek just said to the professor was apparently pretty funny. Zero stares at Jude as he watches the full body laugh from the man. Zero’s not sure he’s ever seen such a beautiful sight.

And beautiful…a guy? What the hell? That combo just doesn’t go together. He’s losing his Goddamn mind he thinks as he drags his eyes away.

“So professor…think you could handle us?” Derek says twirling the ball on the tip of his finger.

“Um…handle you?” Jude replies tilting his head, confused by the question.

“Yeah, some fun competition… come on and play with us.” Derek states, jerking his head toward the group of men patiently waiting for the game to resume.

Jude can honestly say that’s the last thing he expected to be asked, but he’s pretty happy to be included.

He glances down at his watch. “Yeah I could play for a little while.” He replies. “Under one condition.” He says to Derek with a smirk. “I’m a shirt.” Jude wants to at least keep somewhat of his professional dignity.

“You got it. That makes you on my team.” Derek states with a slap to Jude’s back. “Come on teach, make me proud!”

Zero circles back toward the court and cool as anything gives a nod to Jude. Jude returns it. Zero came here to clear his head, and damn it that’s what he’s gonna do. This is his turf. His space.

If the professor wants to re-live his college days so be it, but he’s not getting any breaks on this court, or with this team.

Zero’s a big boy, he can shelve whatever temporary insanity he’s currently going through, and ignore the fact that man’s ass looks damn fine in those shorts. Zero shakes his head to clear that thought away.

Everyone gets back in position, and the two face off. Each crouching down on opposing sides. “Good luck professor.” Zero smirks. “You’re gonna need it.” Zero throws Jude a wink as the ball is launched in the air. Zero easily retains the ball.

And the game is on. They play hard. Jude impressing them all with some serious skills. He was fast and agile, checking with solid blocks and scoring on most of his tries. 45 minutes in, Jude’s once again covered in sweat. Shirt practically plastered to his chest.

Zero approaches Jude. Resolutely not looking down at the shirt that is now showing the outline of the professor’s well defined chest. “Nice job out there. You know what you’re doing.” Zero states with something Jude can’t quite pinpoint in his eyes…is that respect?

“Not too bad for a nerd, huh?” Jude grins.

“No, not too bad at all.” Zero swallows, trying to keep his composure. “Did you… uh… use to play?”

“Yeah, I played sports in high school, although baseball was more my game. I did alright on a court though. Actually got a baseball scholarship, but I was more of an academic kind of guy…obviously.” Jude chuckles looking down at his feet.

Oh shit, he blushes. Zero doesn’t know why God hates him so much.

“The doc’s got some game!” Terrance calls out bumping fist with a smiling Jude. Breaking up their little moment.

“Shit I gotta go! I’m already late!” Jude states when he notices the time.

“Thanks guys. It was a lot of fun!” He calls out to the group. “See you in class.” He waves to Derek, Josh, and Zero, as he starts jogging towards his car.

Zero watches as Jude disappears down the path. His thoughts a jumbled mess. It was one thing when he felt the professor was unrelatable. Easy to trick his mind into keeping a distance. Now though, he seemed like one of the guys. Someone Zero could easily see hanging out with, having a beer with, being a part of his life.

Well, there is one thing he knows for sure… he is so very, very fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note I have added some additional tags, and may do more as I go along. 
> 
> Thanks!

Zero blows out a big breath, as the blank computer screen annoyingly stares back at him. He’s been sitting here for 20 minutes watching that damn flickering line that’s waiting to be graced with something worthwhile.

While he breezed through his first assignment, this stereotype and prejudice one is seriously hanging him up. It’s not that Zero doesn’t have anything to say. That’s the problem. He just has so much to say, he really doesn’t know where to start, or how honest to be. 

The thought of the professor reading about something so personal to Zero both terrifies and excites him. He feels if he gets going on this topic it will be like a damn breaking and he won’t be able to stop. 

He runs a hand down a face. The thing is due tomorrow, and he pretty much can’t put if off any longer. It’s shit or get off the pot, and he needs this grade, and he needs it to be good. This University not very forgiving with bad grades, even if you are a star basketball player.

As Zero stares off into the distance, he allows a memory to come flooding back into his mind, one he hasn’t allowed in there for many years.

 

Michael was a fellow classmate of his back in high school. They both were on the basketball team, but Michael was newer to the team, so Zero basically took him under his wing and showed him the ropes to make the transition a little easier on the kid.

Zero didn’t realize his attraction until one night at a party Michael was getting hot and heavy with a girl in the back room where Zero happened to be. Zero had a hard time taking his eyes off the sight, the alcohol in his system making his inhibitions pretty much disappear. When the girl proceeded to shove her hand down his pants and stroke his cock it was impossible to look away. He wished it was him. He almost could feel the hard length in his hand. Zero knew he was a goner when he looked up only to find Michael staring back at him. Eyes blown and lips kiss swollen. Luckily the girl was too preoccupied with his neck to notice that when he came his eyes were locked with Zero’s the whole time.

After that party the two would meet up for secret make out sessions, and quick hand jobs. They knew the risk if they got caught, but their lust blown minds didn’t care. Zero even had the audacity to think that maybe it wasn’t really a big deal if two male basketball players where getting it on, I mean it doesn’t hurt anybody, right?

That was something he never would think again.

One night after a hard won game, their teammate’s piled into the locker room to clean up. Zero and Michael lingered behind a little longer while most cleared out before they even entered the locker room. They entered separately so they wouldn’t draw attention, both taking their time arranging their things and undressing until the last of their teammates left. Zero figured most weren’t paying attention to them anyway, as the energy was still high from the win, with excited talks of where to meet up after to celebrate.

Zero entered the furthest shower stall, two down from Michael. He grabbed the soap and lathered himself up loving the feel of hot water sliding down his body. When he glanced over at Michael the boy’s eyes were heavy lidded as his hand moved up the length of his already hardening cock. Zero felt his pulse quicken. He knew how dangerous this was. They both did. But teenage hormones, and the youthful ignorance of invincibility erased any more of those lingering thoughts.

Zero’s heart sped up and his breathing became heavy as he watched Michael as he leaned his head back and let the water run over his face, running over his lean muscular back and dripping off his hair. The muscles in his back contorting as he glided his arms down his body.

Zero slide his soapy hands down his length as he started to thrust up into his hand. Michael practically panting with his eyes now glued to the sight in front of him. Michael's gaze raked up Zero’s thighs, and to his groin. He took a step toward Zero ready to close the distance between them.

Suddenly they heard the slam of the locker room door. Startling them out of their fog. The room filled with loud chatter and laughter. They both sprung apart from each other. Zero instantly turning the shower to cold, willing his erection to go down. There was no time to cover up.

“Well what do we have here?” The voice of Bruce, the dickhead football player rang out. Zeros heart was in his throat. Shit, they forgot all about football practice ending later in the evening. 

There was no way not to see the two have huge boners. Together. In the boys locker room. 

“Look at these two fags!” Bruce bites out, flanked by his two lackey’s. “Does everybody know, huh?! Know that you two are jacking off in the shower together?!” Bruce spats, taking a step further into the shower stall. 

By this time Michael has grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. Hiding the damning evidence. Zero eyes glance over at him. He’s white as a sheet, and looks like he’s about to get sick all over the floor.

Zero may be terrified that their secret is about to be blown wide open, but he knows these guys are nothing but meatheads. All brawn and no brains. Zero has nothing left to lose, so he tries for reverse psychology. 

“Oh yeah? Are you checking me out Anderson?! So what, a couple guys can’t take a shower after a game, and get hard thinking about fucking some cheerleaders?! Bending them over the benches and banging them from behind?! Maybe you like to look at us, is that what it is!?” Zero grinds out, looming over the slightly older boy, hoping he’s hiding the fact he’s shaking.

“What!? Fuck no!” He sputters. Face turning a bright red. “I’m not a fag!” 

“Maybe I should start telling people you’re a bunch of peeping toms, watching the basketball player’s shower when everyone is gone? I see how much you and Tom hang out, always having practice late into the night. Now we know what you guys are up to!” Zero’s on a roll, hating the fact this is what he is forced to do, but at the same time praying for it to work.

“Shit no! You’re crazy!” He grimaced before pausing. Zero can see the thoughts churning in his mind. 

“Come on, let’s get the hell out of here.” He calls over to the two other boys, both with matching dumbfounded looks on their faces.

Zero makes sure his look conveys to the boys that this is the end of it, or else.   
By the deer in the headlights look he received back, he thinks it was successful.

And it was successful. After that he never heard anything from those boys again. But ever since that day he and Michael were over. Barely even looking at each other. That was too close.

Zero choose to ignore that side of himself. Playing it safe was a much better option. Basketball, and the future success it could provide was too important to him. From that moment on he wasn’t willing to risk everything he worked for.

Not until the first year at college did he hook up with men again. But even then he always kept those secret, and in faraway clubs where no one would recognize him. And when someone got too clingy, he cut his ties faster than you could say denial. 

That’s pretty much when Jelena came along. He was the envy of most his teammates with her on his arm. The hot sports couple, on the cusp of taking on the world. She was easy, and attractive, and most of all every bit acceptable. He didn’t need to worry about hiding and sneaking around. If he got caught screwing her, people would cheer, not want to beat him into oblivion. 

Although, Zero thinks, leaning back in his chair, none of that changes what he can no longer ignore. That the thought of being with her long term leaves him feeling hollow inside.

Zero is tired of playing the game, being who everyone thinks he should be. He wants to be able to choose who he wants to be with, male or female, not who everyone thinks he should be with. It would feel great to get some of this off his chest. Talk to someone who he could maybe trust.

That’s the feeling Zero has with Jude. There’s just something about the man that makes Zero trust him. That he could tell him anything, and he would understand. He knows it makes no sense. He barely knows the guy. And the truth is he doesn’t even know if the man is gay, or bi. This could be the worst mistake of his life. Although deep down, Zero doesn’t think so. 

And before he knows it, Zero’s fingers start typing freely across the keyboard.

 

\----------

 

Zero feels blown wide open. He’s sweating in his seat. He can’t stop honing in on the paper that now sits on his professor’s desk. All his thoughts on how he is going to somehow Mission Impossible himself to getting that paper back in his possession.

Ok, maybe not all his thoughts. Dr. sex on legs decided today he was going to wear glasses. Because of course he wasn’t good looking enough. Dark rimmed, fuck me now glasses. He looks like a hotter sexier Clark Kent come to life. At least he has some distraction from the fact that he’s about to be outed and ruin his life forever.

“I’m glad you all were able to get your papers in on time. It looks like you are all off to a great start. I look forward to reading what you have shared with me, and the individual experiences you all have been through.” Jude states, as he sits on the edge of his desk pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

Jude hates wearing his glasses, but this morning his contacts felt like sandpaper, so he had no choice. He knew the inevitable Clark Kent jabs would arise. They always do. Already getting a joke about ‘when did Superman join the team?’ from Professor Davenport as he came into work today. Oh well, Jude supposes there are worse things he could be teased about.

Zero’s swears the sight of the professor pushing his glasses up his nose is the most adorable thing he has ever seen. Adorable? Beautiful? God, he’s sure by now he has to have grown a hymen. 

“Why do prejudice and discrimination exist? Many historical perspectives on stereotyping, including realistic group conflict theory and social identity theory, attempt to explain the prevalence of overt prejudice and discrimination.” Jude states, looking pensive as he pace’s in front of the class. 

“Let’s take for example, gay men. Many of the modern stereotypes of gay men can be traced to media portrayals in the 1930’s, when U.S. movies were banned from showing homosexual characters. As a way around these bans, many movies included male characters whose orientation was never stated, but was implied by effeminate behavior, flamboyant dress, lisped speech, or other stereotypical traits.” 

Jude stops his pacing, and sits on the end of his desk, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt, and rolling up his shirt sleeves.

Fucking hell. Zero swears it’s like watching live porn. How is he expected to concentrate?

“The cultural development and social functions of these stereotypes, are reflected in their patterns of directionality. Because people often rely on gay stereotypes to infer group membership. The gay stereotype, more often than not, has negative connotations.” Jude stands, pacing once again, hands clasped behind his back.

“In life, people make many different assumptions about others. Sometimes these assumptions are acceptable and appropriate, and sometimes they are unacceptable and inappropriate. To determine if an assumption is acceptable or unacceptable, it’s important to have a standard in mind, such as asking yourself the question, acceptable or unacceptable, according to who?” 

Zero can’t take his eyes off of the way the professor’s shirt is pulling tight against his chest. Clearly showing the ripped pecs beneath. Zero feels slightly guilty he’s currently looking at the man like a piece of meat when he’s giving such an insightful lecture. But shit, he’s only human.

“Just as an engineer must learn about the underlying architecture of a bridge if he or she wants to understand how it was built, how it works, and how to tear it down, so must a psychologist learn about the underlying architecture of a stereotype if he or she wants to understand how it was learned, how it is activated, and how to change it.” 

“So I ask you class, to think about stereotypical assumptions you personally have made in your life, and to reflect why you have made these assumptions, and what they were based on. Then I want you to challenge yourself and explain how these assumptions creep into our attitudes without us even realizing. Then take a critical look at what stereotypes mean, how they paint so many people unfairly, and, most importantly, how they may misinform us about the world.”

“And, I would like a 4-6 page paper on that topic on my desk by next week.” Jude finishes with a smirk as  
a chorus of groans come from his students.

“Hey, it could be worse. It could be 10 pages.” He quirks his eyebrows, as the groans abruptly stop. 

“Have a good weekend class. See you next week.” Jude smiles, taking a seat back at his desk.

Zero waits to approach the professor, once again waiting until everyone clears out. 

Jude smiles up at him as he approaches. “I wanted to thank you again for the opportunity to play with all of you. It was really a lot of fun. Haven’t played that good of a game in a long while.” Jude states before Zero even has a chance to say anything. 

“No problem. Sorry we kicked your ass.” Zero smirks back. 

“Well I wouldn’t say kicked our ass.” Jude replies. “You only won by 12 points. Besides now I know all your secret moves, next time I’ll do better.” He states big grin on his face.

Zero swears his heart skips a beat at the dual assault. The prospect of a next time, and that gorgeous smile aimed right at him.

“Sounds like my kind of challenge.” Zero grins back.

“I…um…actually had something I needed to ask you.” Zero states, hating the way he is stammering over the words. 

“Of course. What’s up?” Jude replies.

“The…um paper I turned in. Um…do you…I mean…you keep that confidential…right?”

“The assignment paper you just turned in?” He responds as Zero nods his head.

“Absolutely confidential” Jude replies looking up at him, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Zero just stares at the movement. Damn glasses.

“Mr. Delaney?” Jude asked, as the ball player seemed to have zoned out.

Jude eyes the man, a little concerned with his behavior. “If there’s anything you need to talk about, please feel free to come by my office.” He says as he hands Zero his card. “My hours are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 10-2.”

“And remember, everything you tell me will be held in the strictest confidence.” Jude states, sincerity in his voice.

Zero holds the card in his hand staring at the digits before him. Every format needed to get a hold of the man, if he so chooses. He gets a little burning sensation in his chest at the thought. 

He absently rubs at his chest, then clears the frog in his throat. “Great…thank you. I may take you up on that.”

“Please do.” Jude replies softly, as their eyes lock. More pleased at the thought of the ball player showing up at his office then he has a right to be.

One of them should probably look away. Any minute now Zero will, he swears. Jude’s lip part, breathing slightly picking up. Zero licks his suddenly dry lips, as Jude’s eyes hone in on the action. The burning sensation from Zero’s chest spreads through his body, coiling in his belly. The air is so charged Zero’s jeans start to grow tight from the electricity in the air. Zero’s one second away from grabbing the professor by the shirt and licking into his mouth.

Jude suddenly looks down, but not before Zero noticed the blush crawling up his face. Zero knows he was just as affected.

“I…um…sorry, I guess it’s my turn to zone out.” Jude huffs, voice a little gruff as he runs a hand through his hair. Jude not mentioning the fact that the reason he zoned out was because he was imaging his students lips wrapping around his cock. Right here. Right now.

Zero rubs one more time at his chest, starting to wonder if the burning sensation is something he should worry about. He’s too young to have a heart attack, right? 

“Thanks again for this.” He says, holding the card up once again. “I’ll definitely think about it.” Zero states. And boy that’s an understatement. More like obsess about it. He gives the professor a smile, and a look that Jude is beginning to get used to, yet still can’t quite decipher.

Jude watches the man leave. He can’t believe the thoughts that were crossing his mind. It’s like his brain was suddenly hijacked and he had no control. 

He envisioned the baller walking around his desk and sinking right to his knees. Spreading Jude’s legs as he mouthed at the bulge in Jude’s pants. Eyes never loosing contact. He pictured Zero unzipping his pants and freeing his engorged dick. Taking it deep until it hits the back of his throat. 

See…hijacked brain. What the hell? 

Problem is, Zero is gorgeous. Totally his type, in every way. Jude was surprised he did so well at the basketball game with Zero’s bare chest just right there all up in his business.

He just can’t let himself go there. Thinking it is one thing, but that’s as far as it can go. His professorship is the most important thing in his life, and nothing or no one will change that.

What was he thinking giving him his card? It’s no matter. If a student is distressed about something directly related to an assignment he gave, it’s his job to help if he can. And that’s all it will be, him helping the younger man out.

He’s just horny. That has to be it. Maybe he’ll ask Lionel again about that fellow professor, Danny he thinks his name is, who was asking all about Jude and finding out if he was single. Could be just what he needs to help him get the thoughts of this student right out of his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Since Zero came into Jude’s life, not only is he having a hard time getting the man out of his mind, he now seems to run into the ball player all over campus. 

One night after class when Jude needed a caffeine fix to help him face his long night ahead, he noticed Zero sitting with a friend in the campus coffee shop. Jude tried to slip by unnoticed, but Zero spotted him and gave him a little smile and wave as he walked by. That small gesture affected Jude more then he wants to admit. 

Then a few days later when Jude’s car broke down, he found himself on the bus, sitting across from non-other than the blond himself. 

Ear buds in, Zero didn’t initially notice him. But after he recognized the man sitting across from him in the confined space, they each had a hard time keeping their eyes from gravitating to each other. So much so that after about the fifth time their eyes locked it startled a laugh out of the two. Blush crawling up both of their faces.

It was a moment that brings butterflies to Jude’s stomach when he thinks about it. Not to mention once again that little smile and wave Zero threw him as he exited the bus. He’s not sure what it all means, but he has a strong inclination the man is feeling the same thing as Jude. 

And what is that exactly Jude wonders. Friendship? Mutual admiration? Lust? 

Yeah, Jude can admit he’d love to date someone like Zero, but it cannot and will not happen. Not a student. It’s exactly what they are expecting. The young 28 year old assistant professor to mess up and ruin his career, just because he couldn’t control his libido and keep his hands off his students. No way, not going to happen.

But when he thinks about what the ball player shared with him it makes him feel all warm inside. The bravery and courage it took to be honest with him and tell him his story. And the fact he chose to share it with him. Not even knowing what Jude would do with this information. Sure he checked to see if it was going to be kept confidential, but not before Zero trusted him enough to turn in the paper in the first place. It was a big deal and Jude knew it.

And by the way, since when did he start referring to him as Zero? 

 

The roar of the crowd startles Jude out of his reverie.

Lionel shouts something to Jude he can’t quite decipher. “What?!" Jude yells leaning into her. 

“The guy who just made the basket, Delaney, that’s one fine looking specimen, he looks like a supermodel.” Lionel replies back to Jude, eyes closely following Zero.

She’s talking about Zero. Of course she is.

“Isn’t he in your class?” 

“Ah…maybe…yeah…I don’t know.” Jude stumbles out.

“It’s the fourth week in Jude, and you don’t know who’s in your class? Especially someone who looks like that!” Lionel responds pointing down at the court.

“Yeah, and have you noticed how often he’s looked up here?” Lionel says, looking behind her. “Who do you think he’s looking at…me?!” she states, delighted look on her face.

“Easy Cougar, he has a girlfriend… and you’re a professor.”

Lionel looks affronted. “What do you think I am a bot?! A girl can look can’t she!?”

Another roar from the crowd swells as the Bruins score a basket increasing their lead over Long Beach State by 20 points. 

Jude really didn’t think it was the best idea to go to this game, seeing as it’s looking like he’s practically stalking the guy around campus. But Lionel being annoyingly persistent as she is wouldn’t take no for an answer. She has a weird obsession with Jude’s social activities, or lack thereof, as she would say.

“Speaking of social lives.” She continues even though that’s not at all what they were talking about. “You know Danny asked about you again. I think you should go for it. He’s cute.”

“Come on Jude, a guy with your attributes should be getting it on the regular. I mean, when was the last time you got laid?” Lionel states, looking pretty sure of herself as she sucks from the straw of her drink.

“And you should be concerned about this why?” Jude smirks knowing his friend’s heart is in the right place, but sometimes wishing she would lighten up on her meddling ways.

“Because my friend, I love happy endings, and you have everything going for you in your life but your knight in shining amour!” She replies throwing her arm around his shoulder. “And I want to help you find him.” 

“Maybe knights in shining armor don’t exist? And it’s all just a conjured up distorted fantasy.” Jude smiles, knowing very well that comment will get under her skin.

“Pftt…get away you Debbie Downer!” She spats giving him a playful push. “You’re definitely not getting any with that attitude, bud!” 

Jude laughs, but her words start to fade as his attention is drawn to Zero’s coach talking adamantly to the baller, probably about that pass Zero clearly missed. All the while Zero seeming preoccupied, continuing to periodically glance up in Jude’s direction.

Jude squirms in his seat. Why is Zero looking up this way? People are even starting to notice. Shit, even his girlfriend is glaring up in this direction wondering what the deal is. Jude pulls at his collar. He feels the sweat rolling down his back. Why do they keep it so hot in here?

Jelena notices that her boyfriend is clearly distracted. Even glancing up in the bleachers several times during the game. She can even tell Zero’s show boating a bit more today than he usually does. She follows Zero’s eyes starting to wonder if there are some recruiters here checking Zero out. That must be it. She knows all the talk about him making it to the pro’s with several teams already scouting him. Why do you think she hitched on to his wagon? She’s no fool. She looks at the area where his attention continues to be drawn. All she sees are some professors from the University, and fellow students she recognizes, no one worthwhile.

She’ll have to ask him when she swings by tonight. She turns back to the court, eyes raking over the baller as he grabs a pass shooting a three pointer. The way he’s playing is getting her pretty hot. She may even have to go to his place a little earlier than planned so they have time for some fun. She licks her lips. Yeah she’ll give Zero a private dance tonight. He’ll love the new red, lacy number she just bought. Nothing like assuring her position stays firmly intact.

 

\----------

 

Zero paces outside of Jude’s office door. It took him a solid hour of talking himself into coming here. On one hand he wants Jude to know everything, to share this with him, let him know the true Zero, but on the other hand he wonders how he will take it, will he shun him, be disgusted by him, tell others about him? 

No he wouldn’t. Jude said he wouldn’t and he believes him.

Another student walks out of his office. He let three go ahead of him. He hears someone clearing their throat. 

Zero looks up. Jude has his arms crossed leaning against the door frame, a little smile on his face.

“Do you want to come in?” Jude says kindly, being informed by his other students that the man has been out there for some time.

“Um…yeah, ok. Thanks.” Zero answers, running a hand through his hair as he steps through the door. Jude shuts it behind him.

“Have a seat.” Jude says gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

Jude takes a seat across from him.

“I’m glad you came.” Jude starts right away, hoping to give some comfort to the obviously anxious man. 

“That paper.” Jude pauses, shaking his head. Zero gulps. “It was truly amazing.” Jude states as Zero’s eyes dart up, relief written across his face.

“I can’t tell you how honored I feel that you would share something like that with me. As a gay man I know how deeply courageous that was particularly because of your position at this University and how unforgiving the sports world can be.” Jude states sincerely, practically on the edge of his seat.

Zero feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. From the fact that he has been wholeheartedly accepted and respected for sharing his information, and the fact it is the first time Jude has actually confirmed that he is gay. 

Zero feels as if a literal weight has been lifted off his chest. It’s no longer a secret he alone carries. He has no words for the relief he feels. It’s all overwhelming. Before he knows it tears well up in his eyes and one slips down his cheek. He quickly brushes it away, but not before another one does the same on the other side. He can’t believe he’s crying. Last time he can remember crying was when he was a little kid when his mom left him in foster care.

Jude quickly gets up and brings the tissue box over to Zero. Heart melting at the sight before him. He sits in the chair right by Zero. 

“Are you Ok?” Jude whispers as he places his hand on Zero’s thigh. “You don’t have to worry you know, your secret is safe with me.” 

Jude’s hand feels like a hot brand on his leg. Zero closes his eyes for a moment trying to regain his composure. 

“I know it is, I believe you. It’s just…I feel…safe…for probably the first time since I was a child.” Zero quietly replies resting his hand on top of Jude’s.

Jude feels mesmerized by the man in front of him. The air crackles as their eyes meet. He feels as if he is watching himself outside of his own body. Unable to control the actions he’s about to do. Jude turn’s his hand over from under Zero’s and threads their fingers together. 

“You are safe.” He responds, the blonde’s blue eyes drawing him in. Jude’s sure he could get lost in them forever. He feels Zero slightly trembling as Jude takes his other hand and cups the side of his face, thumb tracing circles over his cheek.

Zero’s pulse was racing. Was this really happening?

He traces his thumb over Zero’s lips. Zero parts his mouth, as Jude dips the tip of it in. Zero wraps his lips around it and starts sucking. Jude pumps his thumb in and out of Zero’s plump lips. 

He pulls his thumb out dragging it once more across his lip inching closer to the blond. 

God...your mouth…” Jude says, voice rough with desire, imagining all the places that mouth could be. Zero wraps his hand around the back of Jude’s neck, pulling him in. And for a moment, they cling to each other just sharing air. 

Zero reaches his other hand up grabbing Jude’s face with both hands, pulling him even closer and pressing their mouths together. 

Jude’s heart is pounding. All he can think about is how soft Zero’s lips are, and the feeling of his tongue licking into his mouth. All of it making him forget he swore he would never do this. But right now he just can’t find it in himself to care. 

Not with the desperate moans coming from Zero, and the way he is now practically sitting on Jude’s lap, the feel of his hard cock rutting up against him.

Jude spreads his legs wider, wrapping both hands around Zero’s ass grinding their erections together. 

Zero pulls away gasping into his mouth, when the need for oxygen became a priority. 

“Fuck…you showing up at my game…made me so hot…I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I could literally feel you watching me.” Zero groans, nipping and sucking at Jude’s neck.

Jude’s on fire, more turned on then he’s ever been in his life, and their clothes haven’t even come off.

Zero suddenly pulls off of Jude, sinking to his knees. Jude looks down, trying to clear the fog in his mind. Already missing the warmth of his body.

“Oh my God,” Jude groans when he realizes his earlier fantasy is about to come to life.

He tries not to buck up in Zero’s face, as he mouths at the bulge in Jude’s pants, staring up at the older man with hooded eyes.

Jude runs a hand through his hair, licking his lips. He knows this is taking it to another level, and he’s not sure he can stop. Not sure he wants to stop.

“Zero…fuck… we shouldn’t.” He grinds out, words not really sounding very convincing, even to his own ears.

Zero shivers at the sound of his name coming from the man’s mouth. “Please…I want you so bad. I can’t get you out of my mind.” Zero says running his hand up and down Jude’s hard erection. “I want to suck you.”

Jude’s moan and thrusting hips were answer enough. Zero smirks, unzipping his zipper and reaching in to pull out his cock.

Suddenly there’s a knock at his door. At first they’re too dazed to even react. But the knocking continues. “Professor Kinkade? Are you in there?” They spring apart.

It’s Jelena, Zero knows that voice anywhere. “What the fuck is she doing here?!” Zero states stumbling away from Jude, disbelieving the situation.

“Your girlfriend!? Is here!?” Jude whisper screams back. Shock written all over his face. His daze clearing instantly, like a bucket of ice water was thrown on him.

Jude stands quickly zipping his pants back up.

Zero looks debauched, hair tousled, lips swollen red. It’s a beautiful sight. Jude shakes his head to clear his mind.

“Um…yes…give me a minute, I’m in a conference!” Jude calls toward the door.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll wait!” She yells back.

This is called Karma, that’s what this is, Jude thinks as he straightens his clothes hoping he can make himself look presentable.

Messing around with a student, and one that’s not even single! What is he thinking? Well, it’s not with his upstairs brain that’s for sure.

Zero is mirroring Jude’s actions, flattening down his hair, and straightening himself up with a slight freaked out look on his face.

They pause as they turn toward one another, at a loss for words. Both knowing that they went too far, but at the same time knowing it was not near enough.

With one last lingering look, Zero gives Jude a slight nod, signaling it’s time to open the door. 

Jude’s stomach churns, as he opens it.

“There you are!” Jelena exclaims, slight accusation in her voice. “I’m sorry to bother you Professor Kinkaid, but I was looking all over for Zero, and he wouldn’t answer his phone.” She says, narrowing her eyes at Zero. “Some people told me that he was here when they last saw him.”

“No, it’s ok.” Jude replies clearing his gravelly voice. “Zero just wanted to discuss some school issues, but we’re finished now.”

“After hours?” she questions, cocking her head, “I thought your hours were only until two?” 

Jude resisted looking at his watch, shit how late is it? “I just happened to be here so I was able to help Mr. Delaney out, guess I just lost track of time.” 

“Well that’s nice of you, at least he is talking to someone. He doesn’t share anything with me lately. Hardly see him as a matter of fact.” She responds with a wry smirk on her face.

She turns to Zero taking his hand. “Come on hon, I’m stealing you for the rest of the night.” 

Zero looks wrecked. Large eyes conveying the twist of emotions he’s currently going through.

Jude wants to reach out. Touch him. Pull him close and tell him it’s ok. He doesn’t have to be with someone he doesn’t want to be with. 

But he can’t. He won’t. At the end of the day, he is still his professor, and that won’t change anytime soon. 

He’s broken so many of his rules he doesn’t even know where to begin. A student with a girlfriend. Boy, Lionel would have a field day with this.

But he’s not just any student, Jude’s mind offers. He’s so much more. Jude shakes his head refusing to go there.

“Thanks professor, we’ll get out of your hair. Have a good night!” She waves pulling Zero along.

Zero turns toward him before disappearing down the hall. Jude is surprised with the change of emotion on his face. Conveying a clear and determined expression. Jaw firmly set. A swirl of thoughts behind those expressive eyes. 

And although Jude knows that this should be the end of it between them, deep down he hopes that the look from Zero means it’s far from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry they were interrupted! Don't worry though, they'll get plenty of opportunities to make up for it!


	5. Chapter 5

Jude’s not sure how he lets himself get talked into these things. But staring up at the home before him, with its lights blaring, and music pumping, he realizes somehow once again Lionel worked her magic, or voodoo to be more accurate.

He doesn't even know how he would explain to any rational thinking person, how he was dragged along to a college party by a friend who claims to be doing a social experiment on party habits of a college student. He’s gonna kill Lionel. 

“Oh come on Jude, what’s with the look!? I don’t know why you think this is so bad. Wouldn’t hurt you to loosen up a little bit, you know. Relive some of those old party day’s…wait did you ever even have old party days?” She smirks wryly.

“Yes, I went to parties when I was in college, thank you very much! Oh, you’re right, I can’t possibly imagine why I would think this is a horrible freaking idea Lionel. The place could be teaming with underage drinking! Not to mention all the shit that’s going on in there!” 

Lionel gives him a put upon sigh. “Come on grandpa, it’s an upper class-man party, and don’t you worry those little wiper snappers won’t be doing anything we haven’t seen before, well maybe what I haven’t seen before.” She grins. “And besides…it’s all food for my social experiment.”

“Social experiment…I swear to God Lionel, how you get me into these things I will never know…” His words get drowned out by two female students that come running up to Lionel beer in hand swishing out the sides.

“Oh my God!! Professor Davenport, you really came! I thought you were just bullshitting us!! Oh shit Kyle hold this,” the brunette says as she hands her friend her beer. “Professor, take a selfie with me! I can’t wait to prove you were here!” she states as she proceeds to snap the picture as they both pout into the phone.

“Shit, I’m not going to survive this,” Jude groans as he watches the girls laugh and chatter away. 

He needs a beer, just one to get him through this ordeal, and he’ll be good. Ok, maybe two, but that’s it. 

“Lionel, I’m going in. I need some moral support.” He says as he points to the front door. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” she calls out to him to a chorus of giggles.

She has certifiably lost her ever lovin' mind, Jude thinks as he proceeds to enter into the front corridor of the house, Drake blaring from the speakers.

The party is in full swing. Jude has a sense of relief that it’s so crowded, better to blend in. He maneuvers his way through the crowd hoping he’s going in the right direction toward the alcohol. At that moment two people burst out of the kitchen, one holding the end of the beer bong high while the other end is attached to a mouth quickly sucking down its contents. 

The crowd chants their encouragement as the guy raises his arms in drunken victory. He figures that’s a good sign this is the right direction, as he steps around the pair and walks through the door. 

There’s a rowdy game of beer pong going on at the kitchen table, but Jude beelines it to the keg propped up in the other side of the kitchen. 

Jude glances over at a group of students tossing a ball toward the red cups. They look so familiar. He doesn’t think they’re in his class. Wait…Kyle…oh shit…he turns toward the man currently pouring the drinks. “Hey, whose party is this?” He asks, praying that the sinking feeling in his gut is incorrect. 

“Its Kyle's, well actually several of the cheerleaders are throwing it. Pretty awesome huh? Hey, don’t I know you?” the guy says while he’s filling Jude’s cup.

Fucking fantastic…he’s at a Bruins cheerleader party?! That means…oh God, Lionel so owes him. 

“No idea man. Thanks for the beer.” He says as he turns, quickly heading back through the door. He’ll down this and head right out. If he leaves now its less of a chance to run into a certain ball player. 

At that moment someone is trying to come in the door at the same time, as it swings knocking the beer all over his shirt.

“Shit. Oh My God! I’m so sorry…it was totally an accident! The girl stammers out. “You’re all wet, do you…uh…want me to…dry it off…or…” she seems to lose focus in what she’s saying as she stares at the defined chest in front of her.

“No…it’s ok. I’ll just have to go to the bathroom and dry off.” He states holding back his groan at the situation.

“I could help you. My names Hannah.” She says coyly, batting her eyes. “Are you like a graduate student here, or something?”

“Names Jude, and no, just here with a friend.” Jude responds plastering a smile on his face, hoping she doesn’t ask any more questions.

“Jude…like…Hey Jude…my grandparents loved the Beatles! What a cool name! She says teetering on her feet a little. 

“Listen.” Her voice softened, as she stepped closer to Jude resting her hand on his beer soaked chest. “If you want to have some fun tonight this is my friend’s house, and there’s plenty of rooms we could sneak away in.” 

“Ah…I was just leaving actually, but I am flattered…really, but my friend is waiting and all.” Jude states taking a step back from the girl. 

“Bummer, well if you change your mind and want to stay, I’ll be on the dance floor.” She says licking her lips.

“Got it.” He smiles and waves, turning to escape down the nearby hall.

Fuck, he’s got to get out of here. But he needs to dry off first. His shirt is soaking wet. Freakin Lionel. 

He walks to the opposite end of the house to get as far away from Hannah as possible. 

There has got to be a bathroom around here somewhere. He starts opening doors, some people squawking at the interruption. He finally finds one at the end of the hall.

He goes in dabbing Kleenex all over the front of his shirt, hoping to somewhat dry the sopping mess. He looks under the cabinet for a blow dryer but comes up empty. 

“Guess that will work for now.” He states as he throws the tissues in the trashcan heading back out.

He sees a door that leads out to a side patio that looks empty. He decides that’s where he’ll make his escape. He did his friend duty and came, not to mention probably ruining one of his favorite shirts. He’ll throw her a text and let her know. Lionel will get over it.

He walks out and closes the door behind him. He starts heading down the steps, when someone startles him from behind.

“Jude!?” What the…” Zero states, shocked look on his face. He looks down at the joint he’s smoking. Shit what’s in this weed? 

“Zero?” Jude answers back, disbelieving Zero is standing there, leaning against the railing.

Zero shakes his head, trying to clear it. “You’re here, at Kyle’s party? Not that I’m complaining…but what the hell are you doing here? And why is your shirt all wet?” Zero says, a little laugh escaping him at that fact.

Jude looks down at himself, yeah about now he really wishes the beer would have made it down his throat instead of all over himself.

“I thought they were having a wet tee-shirt contest, apparently I was wrong.” Jude shrugs, crooked grin on his face.

This startles a laugh out of Zero, as he rakes his eyes up and down the man in front of him. 

Jude was temporarily stunned by the sight of his blinding smile. He definitely needs to see Zero do that more often.

“Care to join me?” Zero says, holding up the joint to Jude as he pushes off the railing walking toward Jude.

Jude doesn’t answer that question. He can’t help himself, protective mode suddenly kicking in. “Is that really something a basketball player should be doing?”

“Well, you of all people know professor, I don’t always do what they expect a basketball player to be doing.” Zero drawls suggestively, moving closer to the older man.

“What are you thinking?” He says, annoyance rising in his voice. “You could lose your spot on the team! Future endorsements! I mean, what if they drug test you!? Did you think of that!?” 

Jude crosses his arms over his chest. See, this is yet another reason why this whole thing between them would never work. They are in different worlds. Zero would casually throw his future away to get stoned for God sake! Well not Jude, he worked hard for his future, and there’s nothing or no one who would change that, damn it!

“It’s better in this state than in my reality, professor.” Zero answers with a twisted grin. 

“What!?” Jude responds. “What are you talking about?”

“The reality of having to be someone you’re not. The reality of wanting someone you can’t have. The reality of not seeing any of it changing anytime soon. This helps me forget about it for a while.” 

Jude’s face scrunches up, as he’s comprehending the words. “You create your own reality Zero, you can change it anytime! It’s up to you to decide if you want change in your life, and make it happen. Not smoke weed to block it out.”

“Oh yeah?” he says throwing the joint on the ground, grinding it out. “What…so if I snap my fingers, and decide you’re gonna want me back you’ll run to me with open arms… is that right professor? Or, if I snap my fingers I’ll finally stop constantly thinking about you?” he states eyes narrowing, as he steps even closer to Jude.

“Zero…please.” Jude says softly. “Maybe it won’t work out with me, but if you want to be with a man, then that’s who you should be with.” Jude says swallowing, gut clenching at the thought.

Zero watches Jude’s throat move, wanting nothing more than to touch and taste the soft skin. “Is that what you want? Me with another man?” He responds, watching the older man closely.

Jude feels his gaze like a physical touch. He looks down, unable to meet his eyes.

“If that’s what you want, yes…I…think…that would be best.” Jude says, lie tasting like ash on his tongue.

“Bullshit.” Zero responds, wrapping his hand around the back of Jude’s neck pulling him in. Their lips meet and tongues tangled in a deep kiss. Jude not even resisting. Surprised whimper turning into a groan in the back of his throat. Zero wraps his arms around Jude pulling his body against him, grinding his hips against Jude’s crotch as they desperately kiss themselves into a frenzy. 

A car alarm goes off in the distance. They jump apart, panting, suddenly realizing where they are. Their eyes lock for several heartbeats, until Jude looks away. 

He scrubs a hand down his face a couple times, and takes a step back. Willing his heartbeat to slow down, and needing a minute, or 10 to recollect himself. 

“Zero…fuck…it’s not that I don’t want you. I think that’s pretty clear,” he huffs. “If circumstances were different…” Jude sighs, heartbeat still pounding, “but they’re not… I just…I can’t jeopardize my job.” Zero turns back to the railing, looking out into the distance. 

“You don’t understand.” Jude continues, starting to reach out to him, but stopping himself. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever worked for. My uncle was so proud of me when I graduated, following in his footsteps.” Jude recalls a memory of his big burly uncle bursting at the seams when Jude received his diploma. “The thought of disappointing him…” Jude says looking down.

“Yeah, I know all about expectations to live up to.” Zero scoffs, looking back at Jude. “You don’t have to remind me. You know, I remember well the feeling I had when my mom left me at foster care. Discarded like some trash. I was an inconvenience in her life, and she just decided to get rid of me. I learned young not to let myself get too close to people, because all they do is leave you in the end. So most of the time I do the discarding first, saves me the pain. But… what I never expected was to start to care enough for someone that the thought of discarding them rips me apart.”

Zero looks away, but Jude can’t, eyes watery and wide. Jude was speechless. A vice felt like it was squeezing his heart. He knows deep down his work is not the only reason he is refusing to go further with the man. If he was with Zero they would be hidden, a secret, something the two of them would have to hide away. Zero is not ready to be open with the world about who he really is. Proven by the fact that through all of this, he’s still with a girlfriend he really doesn’t want to be with. Jude’s come too far with himself, and with his own sexuality, to take those steps backwards. 

“I’m so sorry.” Jude whispers, emptiness aching inside his chest, like a void ready to consume him. Giving him one last look, he slowly tears his eyes from Zero’s face, and heads down the steps. 

Jude usually doesn’t drink the hard stuff, but tonight when he got home, he unscrewed the cap on a bottle of Johnny Walker, a gift he got from Lionel when he started working at the University, and poured himself four fingers. He drank it down, feeling the sting of the liquor burn down his throat and spread to his stomach. He doesn’t want to think anymore tonight. His head is pounding from too much of it. He’s ready for sweet oblivion to set in, so he can drown out the fact that he may have just made the worst mistake of his life.

 

\----------

 

If there’s one thing Jude can count on with his job, it’s the fact he can keep himself busy enough to forget about the rest of the world. Just what he needed to do these past few weeks.

It’s been that long since his encounter with Zero at the party. Unlike weeks prior he hasn’t seen or heard much from the man. Zero even missing the past two classes. He wondered if the blond would even show up at all or just end up dropping the class. Jude not knowing what he’s more afraid of, to see him again, or to never see him again.

The answer was the latter, when the very next week Zero came strolling in the class, books in hand. Taking a seat at his desk, resolutely not looking in Jude’s direction. Jude’s pulse picked up its pace at the sight of the younger man, relief at seeing him palpable.

Jude had a hard time keeping his eyes from straying in his direction. Zero looked tired and a little pale. He wonders if his coach is working him too hard, or maybe he is having some trouble with his school work.

He was concerned about the man. Wondered how he was, especially after he just left him standing there on the balcony right after Zero gave Jude a glimpse into his heart. Not to mention the fact Jude returned his kiss with gusto, only to push him away after. God…Jude felt like an asshole.

Realizing it was time to start the class, he walks around the front of his desk, pausing for a moment to get his head in the game.

“Welcome back. I hope you all had a great week.” Jude gives a little smile to the class, but his heart can’t help feeling heavy when he notices Zero keeps his eyes focused on the book in front of him. 

“We covered a little bit of chapter 15 last week, and talked about ways of challenging discrimination. One form of discrimination called oppression is often used to take power away from an individual or a group of people. I asked you to come up with some ideas of how you can be an ally to help join together with individuals that are affected by discrimination or oppression. Any ideas?” he states as he glances around the room.

A quiet looking girl in front of the class tentatively raises her hand. Jude nodes in her direction. “Sarah, what did you come up with?” 

“You could boycott companies that are homophobic, racist, or sexist.” She responds softly. 

“Ok, good. Going after a company’s bottom dollar can always be effective, unfortunately though, people can have a short attention span and things go back to normal. But a good idea, it can definitely get your point across. Any others?”

Another student in the back raises his hand. “Michael, you got something?” Jude calls out.

“You could think about the language you use and stop saying sexist, racist, or homophobic terms or phrases.” He responds.

Jude shakes his head in affirmative. “Right. Terms such as “that’s so gay, or that’s retarded,” and the negative connotations behind those terms, and start to realize how saying those things can make people feel pretty badly about themselves.” 

Zero calls out next without bothering to raise his hand. “How about not giving people a false sense of safety and claim that you are behind them and support them. When in reality you really only care about what others think, because you’re too afraid to face you’re feelings, and what you really want.” Zero’s attention now laser focused on the older man. Defiant gleam in his eyes.

This got some looks from the other students, not really following what Zero said.

Jude thickly swallows, body suddenly tingly all over from the fact that, although veiled, Zero just laid out their private business for all to hear.

Jude tries his best to not look affected. He rubs the back of his neck, clearing his throat. He’s not sure it’s really working. “Um…ok Zero that is something else that…could be done. Try to support people when they are depending on you…especially when they are facing a form of discrimination…”

“But sometimes people are put in situations they can’t control, and no matter how much they want something it won’t change the reality of their situation.” Jude says, relieved his voice is steady.

Zero’s eyes narrow. “But professor…I thought we create our own reality, and it’s up to us to decide that if we want change in our life, we can make it happen…with a snap…” Zero says, doing just that.

Jude bites his lip as he listens to his own words being thrown back at him. His stomach churns at the coldness in Zero’s voice. 

A brunette in the second row raises her hand. “Professor, I’m not really following...is he saying that we need to change our reality to what we want and then support someone in that new reality?” she says, clearly confused.

If Jude wasn’t so freaked out, he would think the scrunched up look of confusion on the girls face was amusing. But not much in this situation was funny. 

“How about you all just open up to chapter 16, and start studying. There will be a quiz on it next week.” He abruptly states sitting back down at his desk. He takes a long swig out of his water bottle, hands slightly shaking. He needs to chill out. He feels like he’s losing his grip, and he really doesn’t know what to do with that. He has always been in control of his actions. Everything planned out, everything precise. This feels so strange to him, this losing control. 

He doesn’t even need to look to know Zero is staring at him. He can feel him, he can always feel when his eyes are on him. It’s like his body has some sort of chemical connection, always reacting to the younger man. 

Jude doesn’t even notice it’s the end of class until he sees his students start packing their bags, and getting up from their desks. 

He hopes the smile he musters up doesn’t look too manic, as he says his goodbyes. 

He watches the last of his students clear out, or so he thought. 

“I’m not sorry.” Zero says standing directly in front of Jude. Jude looks up, watching the swirl of emotions in the man’s blue eyes. 

Squaring his shoulders, Zero continues determined to get his point across. “You can push me away all you want, and throw out reasons why we can’t be together. But I know you feel it too, this connection, this pull. I can feel it rolling off of you in waves.”

Zero’s eyes darken, as he places his hands on the desk leaning towards Jude. “You want nothing more than for me to come over there and sink to my knees. Unzip those pristine pants of yours and take your cock in my mouth till I’m choking on it. Bend you over this desk and sink into your tight ass…till I’m so deep inside you, you can taste it.” Zero’s breathing heavier, clearly affected by his own words. 

Jude inhales sharply gripping the corner of his desk to keep him in place. He’s suddenly blindingly hard. Dizzy from the speed of all his blood rushing to his cock. 

Jude closes his eyes, regaining his composure. “Zero…” he starts, but suddenly he hears his name being called, and it’s most definitely not the man in front of him.

He quickly looks over toward the open door, and sees Danny leaning in, slight smile on his face.

“Hey.” The man says giving a shy wave, “I was in a meeting close by, and I knew you’d be done with class, so I thought I would swing by.”

“Danny.” Jude replies flatly, eyes wide with shock.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” Danny says looking between the two, obviously feeling the tension.

“Uh…no…no… come in.” he says throat feeling like sandpaper. He glances up at the blond. Zero’s demeanor has completely changed. Side eyes narrowed at the man standing at the door.

“I was just wondering if you had time to grab a bite to eat.” Danny says gesturing toward the hall, stepping further into the classroom. 

Jude’s about two seconds from laughing hysterically at the scene in front of him. When did his life get so fucking complicated?

The fellow professor has been wanting to go out with Jude for some time now, clearly showing his interest through text messages, and the occasional phone call, but with busy work schedules and Jude’s reluctance to start dating the man, they just never connected. 

Zero now has his arms crossed over his chest, jaw clenched staring right at Danny, furious look in his eyes.

Danny notices Zero’s combative look coming his way and shifts on his feet uncomfortably. “Is everything ok, Jude?”

The air is thick with tension. Jude swears the blond is moments away from throwing down right here in the classroom. 

Jude’s finding it hard to breath. He stands up suddenly needing to break the tension. “Yeah, I could use something to eat.” He says, as he starts collecting his things.

Zero’s eyes whip toward him. Glaring look replaced with a flash of hurt, but it was gone before Jude could even realize it was there.

Zero’s look could melt steel, as he storms out, banging his shoulder up against Danny as he leaves.

Danny gives Jude a worried look. “Is that student giving you trouble Jude?” 

Jude stood for a moment watching the empty space where Zero just exited.

“Oh, if you only knew” Jude huffs under his breath, as he grabs his duffle and walks towards Danny heading out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Zero decides it’s a great idea to turn up the volume on his music to ear melting levels. Better to drown out the thoughts that are currently driving him slowly insane.

He’s sure that if he starts thinking once again there is a real and true possibility that the night won’t end up too well for _Danny,_ or him either really, because what he would do to that man would probably have Jude never talking to him again.  

Zero rubs his dry eyes. He’s tired, but can barely sleep, hungry but can’t stomach much. Not even his favorite burger joint sounds good. He’s been so twisted up these past few weeks he’s sure he’s losing it. His teammates worried about his recent absence and lack of concentration. Even Jelena is on him about the fact they never see each other.

Problem is, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to be with any of them. He wants to be with one man, one stubborn man who Zero swears is some sort of siren, enchanting him and luring him to his destruction.

The thought of seeing Jude after the night of the party was too much for Zero. He needed to separate himself for a while, sort out in his mind the conflicting emotions he’s getting from the dark haired man. Sort out his own conflicting emotions. 

So he spent much of that time obsessively diving into practice, and training. Initially Coach Alford was thrilled with Zero’s new found enthusiasm, but he soon realized his excessive hours in the gym were doing more harm than good. He told Zero to take a week off to clear his head and work through whatever is going on in his life. Even gave him the school counselor’s card if he felt he needed to talk to someone. Guess he wasn’t hiding it as well as he thought. 

Then he realized if he missed one more psych. class he was at the risk of being dropped, so he sucked it up and finally faced Jude. 

Zero could tell exactly the moment when the professor saw him come through the door. It’s like the air in the room buzzed. Proton and electron meeting, creating an electrical charge radiating outward in all directions. 

He knew saying what he did out loud would throw Jude off, upset him, but he just couldn’t help himself. He’s not one to wear his emotions, but keeping them bottled up inside for so many weeks he was at his breaking point. Feeling he’d go crazy if he didn’t say something. Really, Jude’s lucky that’s all he said. Zero is pretty weary of this game, and it’s starting to sound pretty appealing not to play it any more. If only Jude felt the same way.

He sits up in his bed and tears off his ear buds. He feels like he’s burning up inside. The thought of Jude with that douche. The fact that man thinks he has a right to be with Jude. What are they doing right now? Is Danny, leaning in and whispering in Jude’s ear, touching his arm like he has a right too, and getting a coy smile from Jude? 

But Zero remembers how his words affected the older man. How Jude was practically vibrating out of his skin at Zero’s graphic explanation. And it sure as shit wasn’t from Danny swinging by either. 

The way a blush crawled up Jude’s face as he sucked in that surprised gasp. The way his breathing slightly picked up and his eyes darkened as he explained in detail what he knew Jude wanted Zero to do to him. 

Those fantasies he told Jude. Zero wanted it all, and more. If Jude knew the things Zero wanted to do to him he would probably run for the hills, or better yet, not. What if Jude’s a kinky bastard, and wants it all. Desperate for cock, wanting nothing more than for Zero to bend him over and fuck him hard. 

The thought makes Zero groan, and his cock start to swell. Heat instantly pooling in his belly. 

He kicks off his pants needing some sort of release from all this sexual tension. He palms his hard length through his boxers, and moves to the edge of his bed spreading his legs. He pulls out his cock through the slit of his boxers, and grabs at the base of the shaft, pulling the heated length and stroking slowly. 

He imagines how gorgeous Jude would be spread out over his desk ass in the air. Zero slapping his ass marking him. Jude squirming as Zero slips his fingers inside. Slowly pumping them in and out as he watches the rim catch and furl. Zero knows he would be addicted to the taste of Jude as his tongue replaced his fingers laving at his hole. Zero using his tongue, and teeth to kiss and suck until his fragile flesh is raw and reddened. 

Zero spreads his legs wider, thrusting into his hand, thoughts of Jude making his skin prickle with heat. Zero wants to spread Jude’s legs wide, take his cock and plunge in deep as he can. He tilts his head back closing his eyes imaging the sounds Jude would make as he would angle himself thrusting right at the spot that would drive Jude crazy. 

Zero’s hand speeds up, pre-come oozing out slicking his palm. He feels the familiar tingle at the base of his spine, and with a few more thrust and twist, he moans out Jude’s name, spurting all over his hand and up the hard planes of his stomach. 

He falls back on his bed letting his breathing slow down. Fuck that was intense. He runs his fingers through the cooling come, imagining Jude crawling up him and licking him clean. His dick twitches once again in interest. God, what that man does to him.                                                                                        

He gets up in search of a towel. He cleans himself off and throws it in the hamper. He actually feels a little better. It took the edge of a bit…for now. 

He changes his boxers and pulls on his pants. Checking his phone for messages. Fuck, three missed calls and two texts from Jelena. He thumbs through them. 

“ _Why aren’t you answering your fucking phone!?”_

‘ _Since you’ve decided to ignore me, I’m coming to you. See you in 20 minutes.”_ Her text glaringly reads. 

He looks at his watch. Shit, that was 15 minutes ago. She’ll be here any minute. 

Zero’s considering just locking the door and pretending he’s not there. But if he wants to in any way move forward with Jude, this will be the first step in that process. It’s long past time for him to face the music. On top of that, as much of a bitch as Jelena can be, she deserves someone who wants to be with her. A guy who isn’t thinking about being with someone else the majority of the time. 

Zero can hear her approaching before she even gets to his room. Loudly chattering on her cell phone obviously not caring who hears her conversation. Zero rolls his eyes. He’s not really sure she knows the earth revolves around the sun and not her. 

Not bothering with knocking she swings open the door. ‘Yeah Kyle, I know…I know…it was obviously my idea first…we’ll just have to prove she has no clue what she’s talking about! Listen I’m at Zero’s…remember my long lost boyfriend?” she huffs, “yeah him…we’ll talk later.” She says, hanging up her phone. 

“You are still alive…I was beginning to wonder.” She snips, slipping her phone in her purse, and placing it on the desk. 

“Yeah, I know…I’ve been a bit…preoccupied lately.” He states, suddenly realizing how ready he is for this long overdue conversation. 

“Everybody’s been asking me what’s going on with you. You haven’t been to practice in a week Zero. And I don’t even know what the hell to tell them because you never tell me anything anymore. And I’m your girlfriend! I’m beginning to think you’ve got some side action going on.” She says half serious, as she saunters up to him. 

“I miss you, you know,” she says tone softening, as she steps forward into his space wrapping her arms around him. 

Zero returns the hug. Feeling a little nostalgic about their time together, but knowing without a doubt this is what needs to happen. 

She leans up to kiss him, but he pulls away, resting his hands on her shoulders creating a distance between them. 

“Jelena, we need to talk.” He states, sincerity in his eyes. 

She takes a slight step back, worried look on her face. “Aw hell no, you better not tell me I’m right, and you are fucking someone else!” 

“What is this Zero, what do we need to talk about?” she says, hackles rising. 

“Jelena, I can’t do this anymore.” He states firmly, shaking his head. 

“Do what anymore?!” she spats, taking another step, backing out of his grip. 

“See each other. Pretend this is working. It’s over between us.” He states, voice unwavering. 

“What?! Are you serious with this?! You don’t speak to me for a week at a time and now you dump me out of the blue?!” she screams, shocked looked on her face. 

“Come on, you know our relationship was mainly based on show. You loved the attention of being on my arm.” 

“Damn right, we look good together!” 

“Jelena, you can’t base a relationship on the fact you look good together. We were never going to have our happily ever after, and I think you know that.” 

She eyes him coolly with narrowing eyes, suspicion clouding her features. “It’s another women, isn’t it? You are fucking someone else aren’t you?” She snaps, accusation clear in her voice. 

He swallows the lump in his throat. This is a risk, he knows it is, but he has known this women for a long time now and she deserves to know the truth. And Zero is through with playing this game. 

“No, I’m not fucking anyone…but…I ended up falling for someone…it kind of snuck up on me.” He huffs, already feeling better voicing his feelings out in the open. 

“Uh huh…snuck up on you…I bet.” She says nodding her head, sarcasm dripping from her words. “Who is she Zero? I deserve to know.” 

He pauses, taking in a deep breath as he meets her eyes head on. “It’s...not a she…it’s a he.” 

Jelena scrunches up her face like suddenly her top lip started producing a foul odor. “What?! Bullshit… you’re not gay! I know!! She spats, eyes practically bulging out of her head. 

“I’m Bi Jelena. Have been for as long as I can remember. It’s just…not many people know.” He answers, arm crossed over his chest, as if he can somehow protect himself from the possible fallout. 

Her mouth falls slightly open, shock making her at a loss for words. 

“You’re not kidding, are you?” She says eyes narrowing, snapping out of her stupor. 

“I couldn’t be more serious.” He quietly responds. 

She clears her dry throat. “Well, I’ll rephrase that. Who is HE then?” 

Zero knows on one hand if he tells her the truth about the professor he risks other people finding out about Jude, but on the other he knows Jelena and she may seem callous on the outside, but on the inside she is a caring person, and would never out someone vindictively. He’s sure of that. 

“Professor Kinkaid.” He answers with resolute confidence. 

It’s the second time that evening her eyes bulge out of her head. “Professor Kin…are you serious?! Isn’t that against some sort of policy or something?!” 

“Well, yeah. That’s part of the problem. Jude’s not really…on board with us having a relationship. At least that’s what he says. The fact that he’s my professor is standing in our way.” He says, voice slightly tinged with sadness. 

“Jude, huh?” She says tilting her head, slight teasing tone in her voice at Zero using the professor’s first name. 

Zero nods his head. 

“Do you love him?” she says softly. 

“Yeah…I do.” He responds, heart slightly fluttering at the revelation. 

“Wow, this is big Zero.” She states flopping down on his office chair. 

“What about basketball? They’re gonna crucify you when they find out.” She states looking up at him, eyes wide. 

“I haven’t got that far yet. All I know is I want to be with him.” 

“He must be pretty awesome. He’s damn hot, that’s for sure.” She says, smirking up at the blond. 

“Yeah he really is, on both accounts.” He responds, grin on his face, relief surging through him at the girl’s acceptance of the situation. 

“Well I feel a little better it’s not another women at least.” She states standing back up, flipping her hair off her shoulder. “You wouldn’t be able to find one to match me anyway.” 

Zero shakes his head, “Now ain’t that the truth.” He chuckles, pulling her in for a hug, and kissing her on the top of her head. 

“Now be sure to tell Terrance you’re single. I’m sure he’ll be very pleased to hear that.” 

Jelena looks up in surprise. 

“Oh please, I’ve known you two have had the hots for each other for a while. You think I’m blind and don’t see the looks between you two?” he smirks, raising his eyebrow. 

“I thought I was being subtle.” 

“Subtle as a sledge hammer. Go on, get your man. You deserve to be happy after the way I’ve treated you these past weeks.” 

She laughs, equally relieved that despite all of this it looks like they can still be friends. 

“You got it…” She says smiling, as she starts walking toward the door. 

She stops and turns back to look at Zero. “Just so you know…” she says sincerity in her eyes. “Your secret’s safe with me.” 

“Thanks Jelena.” He replies, giving her a little smile as he closes the door behind her. 

“Fuuuuk.” He says resting his head against the door, so glad that’s over. 

He heads toward his mini fridge and pulls out a beer. The cool liquid feeling like heaven going down his parched throat. 

A feeling of relief washes over him. That part of his life was behind him now. No more lying. No more living a life to make someone else happy. He may identify as bi, but since Jude came into his life the pendulum has swung, and he cannot imagine being with anyone else but that man. 

Now if only Jude came to that same realization. 

He heads over toward his desk and sits down, picking up the now worn business card Jude gave him weeks ago. 

He looks at the numbers before him. Suddenly wanting nothing more than to see the older man. Zero runs his thumb over the frayed corners, thoughts swirling in his head. Before he really realizes what he’s doing he picks up his phone, dialing Jude’s number.

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jude sets the last of the graded papers on the large stack in front of him. Glad to get through that chore, he blows out a big breath, as he loosens his tie. 

After his dinner with Danny he decided to go back to his office. He desperately needed the sense of calm and peace these surroundings give him. A chance to clear his head from the jumbled mess it’s become, and focus on something grounding. 

Dinner with the fellow professor was pretty much a disaster. Jude spent most of his time deflecting questions about the “aggressive” student in his classroom. All the while trying to get that same student out of his mind. 

The confrontation that Danny saw had the man concerned. Jude could understand that, especially from the little bit he had witnessed, but what Jude didn’t understand was the anger he felt rising in him when the professor threatened to report Zero to school authorities. He was startled by the fierce, protective instinct that suddenly surged through him at the thought of anything bad happening to Zero. 

From that point on Jude just wanted that dinner to end. Further solidifying the fact that there was never going to be a romantic future for them. 

Jude decided it’s better to end it now then to drag it out and give the guy false hope. Danny wasn’t too pleased at first with Jude’s declaration, but soon accepted the fact that although Jude’s not interested in dating him, the two could still remain friends.

Jude was happy to have that behind him. It was just a complication he didn’t need in his life. He definitely has enough of those in spades.

He leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, remembering the way Zero’s voice washed over him like a physical caress. Jude shudders at the thought. Those things Zero said to him, he can’t get them out of his mind. He wants all of it, and more. He bites his lip at the thought of Zero sinking so deep inside of him, filling him up, making him feel it for days.

He thinks it probably would be wise to stop that train of thought as his pants start to grow a little tighter. He’ll have to take care of this little problem when he gets home. With Zero once again being the star of his jerk off fantasies. 

He looks at the clock, and decides he should head out. It’s getting late, and he’s pretty tired from the long day. 

He starts packing his things up, still unable to shake the lingering thoughts of the blond from his mind. 

He barely hears the muffled sound of his phone ringing. Assuming its Danny, he considers ignoring it, a little annoyed the guy just won’t get a clue and lay off. 

“Yeah, what.” he says gruffly, after he digs it out of his duffle, not bothering to look at who’s calling.

“Jude?” Zero’s questioning voice says through the phone.

Jude’s eyes grow wide, as he holds the phone away looking at the unfamiliar number.

“Zero?” he says back, pulse instantly speeding up.

“Yeah, it’s me.” Zero responds as he wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans, nerves starting to kick in.

“You have my number?” Jude asks, surprised the man is calling him.

“Yeah, you gave it to me a while back…your card...” Zero replies. 

“Oh right…are you ok?” Jude says, voice tinged with concern. 

“I need to see you.” Zero breaths into the phone.

“Did something happen, what’s wrong?” 

“I just…can you meet me?” 

“Yeah…I…ah… was just leaving my office. Can you meet me outside by my car? I’m parked across from Franz Hall in Lot 2. Shouldn’t be many cars there at this hour, you’ll find me.” A safe neutral territory, out in the open, Jude thinks.

“Be there in 5 minutes.” Zero says hanging up.

The excited anticipation in Zero’s voice ignites a slow burn in Jude’s belly. He quickly finishes gathering his things, unconsciously picking up his pace, as he turns to walk down the hall. 

Another professor stops Jude in the hallway on his way out asking for details about some upcoming committee meeting. Jude rushes him along, not caring if he is sounding rude to the man. Anxious at the thought of Zero leaving, thinking Jude blew him off.

Jude heads down the steps of the building. Realizing he’s practically running, he slows down as he approaches his car. Zero is leaning against his Charger, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. 

“I thought you might have changed your mind.” Zero says pushing off the door of the car. 

“No, I got held up…sorry…” Jude responds gesturing back toward the building. 

Zero took a small step toward Jude. The intensity of his gaze made Jude’s further thoughts turn to dust.

“Did you fuck him?” Zero spats with no preamble, suddenly needing more than anything to know this. 

“What?! Who?!” Jude exclaims, brow furrowed.

“Who else, your dinner date…did he touch you?” Zero says voice getting deeper, as he steps closer to Jude.

Jude was surprised at the heady feeling that quickly overtook him at the possessive tone in Zero’s voice.

Jude looks down trying to get control over his rapidly beating heart. He glances around, hoping that their surroundings will ground him back to reality.

“I…don’t know why you need to know that…that’s my business.” Jude says, wishing that he sounded more convincing.

Zero was unfazed by the words, “Did you fuck him?” he repeats, eyes narrowed shifting from Jude’s mouth to his eyes. 

“No Zero....it was the first time we ever went out…” 

Leaning back against the car, Zero lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, relief palpable.

“Zero, whatever I choose to do…”

“I can barely sleep, barely eat.” Zero interrupts him, running a hand down his mouth. “You’ve got me so turned around. Everyone is wondering what the hell is wrong with me.” He huffs, shaking his head. “All I can think about is you.” He says, looking up at Jude with wide vulnerable eyes. “I’d rather be here, with you, in this crappy parking lot, then any other place. How fucked up is that?” He states with a self-depreciating laugh. 

Jude’s heart does a little swoop. “I don’t think that’s fucked up at all.” he says softly meeting Zero’s eyes.

“I broke up with Jelena. That part of my life… It’s over. I’m sick of playing games… I never thought about a future with her…but with you a future is all I think about.”

Jude closes his eyes, letting that sink in. He can’t deny any longer how this man makes him feel. If he was being honest with himself this is what he’s been longing to hear, all of it, but knew it was wrong to feel that way. He wouldn’t allow himself to go too deep when his thoughts started to wander and think about a future with the ball player.

Now Zero is laying himself out, willing to take that risk with Jude and go further no matter the consequences. How can he deny him, how could he have ever denied him?

Jude’s heart is beating out of his chest. He stares at the younger man for a few moments. Blue eyes meeting his, he suddenly loses all coherent thought. Before Jude’s brain can talk him out of it, his lips are crashing into Zero’s. The kiss is feverish, as Jude licks into his mouth unabashedly. All the fear, denial, and lingering doubt washed away as Zero gasped into his mouth. 

Zero is clinging to Jude, pressing up against him. The feeling of Zero hot and hard against his thigh sends a rush through him. He taste slightly of beer, and something uniquely him. Jude can’t get enough of it, as their tongue and teeth tangle. 

Jude pushes Zero backwards slamming him against the car door. Zero groans at the aggressive behavior. “Fuck, I want you so bad. Open the goddamn door.” Zero says licking and biting at Jude’s neck. 

Jude wants it too, wants to feel him under his hands, taste his skin on his tongue. And he’s not willing to wait any longer for it. He blindly fumbles for the keys in his pocket. 

In the far reaching corners of his mind he realizes how dangerous this is, but he can’t find it in himself to care. Not with Zero filling all of his senses. He’s intoxicated by it. Drunk on the smell of his cologne, the softness of his lips, and his breathless moans.

They rest their foreheads together, gasping into each other’s mouths, as Jude unlocks the door.

“Get in.” Jude says, voice sounding raw. Zero quickly obliges, as they both stumble into the car. Zero climbs over the seat to get into the back, pulling Jude along with him. Zero grabs him by the front of the shirt crushing their mouths together. 

Not breaking the kiss, Zero stealthily shifts positions climbing on Jude’s body straddling his hips. Grinding down on Jude, he nips and bites on Jude’s ear. “I’m gonna finally finish what we started.” He whispers. 

Hiking up his shirt, he traces his fingers and lips down Jude’s heaving chest to his happy trail. He nimbly unbuttons Jude’s pants, kissing the soft exposed flesh.

Zero looks up at Jude with heavy lidded eyes, as he rubs his palm up the ridge of his hard cock dragging his thumb back and forth over the head. Jude moans, as he bucks his hips, desperately needing some sort of friction. 

Zero lowers Jude’s zipper pulling his pants and boxers down. His engorged cock slaps up on his belly.

Zero blows out a long breath, pulse a rapid trigger. He licks his lips at the sight in front of him. 

“Fuck…look at you” he groans, as his eyes rake up and down a thoroughly debauched looking Jude. “I need to taste you.” 

“Please…God, yes.” Jude responds, past the point of caring if he’s begging. Needing Zero’s mouth on him as much as he needs his next breath. 

Jude hisses as Zero takes hold of his sensitive cock, slowly moving his hand upwards. He gives Jude a devilish grin before he bends over and takes him down, taking in his entire length until it hits the back of his throat.

“Oh my God.” Jude moans leaning his head against the back of the car seat. He gyrates his hips as Zero expertly sucks the life out of his cock, his mouth a steady pressure as he licks up the thick vein, full lips sucking the pre-come from the tip. 

Jude tangles his fingers in Zero’s hair, gently pushing his head down and pulling it back up. Zero grasping Jude’s tight ass in both hands silently urging him on. Lust and need coil in Jude’s belly as he watches Zero’s lips and tongue make his cock wet and sloppy.

“Zero…I’m gonna…fuck.” Jude says gripping his hair a little tighter. Zero holds Jude’s hips still, sucking even harder. Jude explodes in his mouth shouting Zero’s name, as Zero swallows and swallows. Come slides out the side of his mouth, but Zero just licks him clean like it’s manna from heaven.

Jude collapses back in the cramped space. Zero grins, crawling up his body, pressing his lips against Jude’s. A thrill shoots through Jude at the fact he can taste himself on the man’s tongue.

“Your turn.” Jude grins, reaching his hand between them and unzipping Zero’s pants. Zero draws in a shuddering breath, as long fingers wrap around his cock.

Zero’s velvet soft skin is warm and heavy against his hand. He swipes the tip with his thumb, collecting the pre-come with his fingers. Zero lets out little moans as Jude licks into his mouth. 

Jude glances at Zero. He’s sweaty and flushed. Pink lips slightly open, and wet. Hair sticking to his forehead. Jude’s never seen a more gorgeous sight.

“Shit, I’m not gonna last.” Zero says as he pushes his hips up into Jude’s quickening strokes. 

Zero cries out, body tensing up, as he spills all over Jude’s hand and stomach.

Zero’s knee hits the floor of the car as he leans slightly off Jude. 

“Shit, that was…” 

“Fucking awesome.” Jude finishes for him. 

Zero huffs out a laugh looking at Jude, not fully believing what just happened despite the evidence covering both of them.

Jude brings his hand up to his mouth, needing to taste the man. He licks it clean, giving Zero a seductive grin. “Next time, I want this directly from the tap.”

Zero groans surging up, kissing Jude deep and hard.

Jude needs more. He’s not nearly sated, he needs to be out of this cramped space. Needs to see all of Zero laid out across his bed. Needs to do things with him that the confines of this car would make very difficult.

“Come with me to my apartment.” Jude says softly, licking across the blonde’s plump bottom lip.

Zero’s eyes light up. Without hesitation he grabs a gym shirt that was laying on the floor and wipes the two of them clean. He zips up his jeans, gives Jude one last peck, and hops into the front seat.

Zero glances back at Jude from the passenger seat. “Let’s go.” He says, wide grin splitting his face. 

Jude burst out laughing at Zero’s over eagerness, happiness that he hasn’t felt in a very long time, bubbling up in his chest. 

Jude sits up, pulling up his pants and boxers, matching grin on his face. “Someone a little eager?” he smiles, following Zero’s lead and climbing into the front seat. 

Zero turns heated eyes toward Jude. “That was just the appetizer, I’m ready for the full course meal.” 

Jude starts the engine. “Full course meal huh? Sounds interesting.” he smirks, burning embers in his belly reigniting. 

“Oh, it’ll be interesting all right.” Zero replies resting his hand high on Jude’s thigh, eyes lingering on his lap. 

Jude swallows thickly, feeling himself getting hard once again.

Jude got them to his apartment in what he swears was record time. They practically jump out of the car trying to keep a modicum of composure until they get through Jude’s door. 

They stumble through the door grabbing and ripping at each other clothes. Buttons popping and metal clanking as a trail of clothes is left in their wake. 

Standing gloriously naked in front of each other, they both pause. Stopping to take in the moment.

Jude slowly drags his fingers down the dips and curves of Zeros firm chest. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He whispers, in awe of the man in front of him.

Zero’s eyes darken, as he leans his forehead against Jude’s. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?” 

“From the first moment I saw you behind that desk in that stuffy suit of yours. All I could think about is how I had to see what was beneath it…had to taste you, lick you. How I wanted nothing more than to be inside you.” He pants, eyes raking down the older man’s body.

Jude shivers as their lips meet, hot urgent slide of tongues. Zero surges forward dragging Jude with him onto the bed. Jude slides his hands down Zero’s back pulling him even closer, wrapping his hands around the firm globes of Zero’s ass. Zero starts a slow grind, as their kisses become desperate. Zero fist Jude’s hair pulling his head back so he can have access to his neck, biting and sucking, marking him. 

“God, don’t want to come like this. Want you inside me when I do.” Jude pants, looking down at Zero.

“Fuck, yes. Where’s your lube and condoms?” Zero asks, leaning back gripping the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm.

“Side table.” Jude answers, nodding in that direction. Zero practically trips over himself in the hurry to get the items. Zero throws the condoms on the bed squeezing some lube in his palm, slicking it up his fingers. He lowers himself between Jude’s muscular thighs, grabbing his legs under the knees and pushing them back, exposing Jude’s taut hole. 

Zero kisses Jude’s inner thigh, as he starts massaging his entrance, running his slick finger up and down. Slowly he slides his finger in Jude, working him open. He soon adds two fingers. Jude is moaning and twisting at his touch, arms flung above his head grasping at the sheets. Zero pumps in and out as Jude grinds down on his fingers spreading his legs wider.

“More…Zero…need more…” Jude says writhing and gasping beneath him, and Zero is lost. Gone in a haze of lust.

He pulls out his fingers and wipes them on the bed. He leans forward crushing Jude’s mouth against his in a bruising kiss. 

“I’m gonna fuck you now.” He says as he leans up, a hairbreadth from Jude’s mouth. 

Jude nods his head, unable to form any words. He’s on fire. Feeling so many sensations at once, it’s like an electrical current going through his body. 

Zero rolls the condom down his length, and lubes it up, as he watches Jude so gorgeously laid out in front of him. His hands are slightly shaking from the adrenaline pumping through his body. Pushing Jude’s knees up and back, he lines himself up slowly pushing in. 

They both moan in unison. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Zero nearly sobs. He peppers Jude’s face with kisses letting the man adjust to the intrusion.

“Are you ok?” Zero mutters hotly against his mouth.

“Yes…fuck…move Zero…please…” And that’s all Zero needed to hear. He set’s a rhythm, steady and deep. Jude’s fucked out noises making him crazy with need. He places his hands on both sides of Jude, angling deep, hitting Jude’s prostate over and over. 

Jude reaches up grabbing the side of headboard pushing back against his thrust. “Yeah…fuck…just like that….” Jude moans.

Zero pushes his legs apart farther, slamming in over and over, desire reaching a fever pitch. The lust in his veins has stolen his ability to think about anything else but being encased inside Jude’s scorching heat. Zero’s never felt this primal, losing himself in Jude. Fucking into him like a dog in heat. Claiming him as his own.

Jude’s moans were guttural, as Zero pistons his hips seeking his release. He reaches over, pumping Jude’s thick cock slick with pre-come. 

Body bowing, Jude half sobs Zero’s name, come spilling out of him in pulses. On the edge Zero pulls out of Jude, stripping off his condom, he pumps his cock a couple times, painting Jude’s stomach with his come. Shuddering as his body spasms from the best orgasm of his life.

He leans down taking Jude’s lips in his, he pulls back resting his forehead on Jude’s. 

“Jesus Christ…” Zero huffs into his mouth, dazed look on his face. 

“Yeah…” Jude says breathlessly, still trying to catch his breath.

Zero collapses on his back by Jude, running his hand through his sweaty hair. 

“That was fucking hot…we’re doing that again, real soon.” He smirks, looking over at the flushed man beside him.

“As soon as I can feel my body again.” He grins back at Zero. 

Their gaze locks and holds as they stare into each other eyes, feeling the weight of the moment.

“Come here.” Jude says gesturing with his head for Zero to lay on him.

Zero grabs a discarded shirt and gently wipes Jude down. He pulls the blankets up that were kicked to the end of the bed and covers them both. 

“Stay the night?” Jude says softly, as Zero lays on his chest, Jude’s arms wrapped around him.

Zero tilts his head to look up at Jude, surprised look on his face.

Zero quickly schools his features, pretending that his heart wasn’t doing somersaults in his chest.

“Only if you make me breakfast.” He says teasingly, settling back down on Jude.

Jude smiles into Zero’s soft hair, pulling the blond closer. He knows this whole situation only complicates things more, and at this point there’s more problems than solutions. But for now with Zero in his arms, he finds it easy to dismiss those intruding thoughts.

“Deal.” Jude whispers, as they both settle in, content in the warmth of each other’s bodies.


	8. Chapter 8

This is freakin unbearable, Jude thinks to himself as he sits back down behind his desk for about the fifth time trying to will his growing erection away.

If Jude thought it was hard to resist Zero before, it’s downright impossible now. Considering that all he needs to do is shift a little to feel the lingering soreness of their most recent lovemaking. And not to mention the fact that Zero keeps biting on the edge of his pencil looking at him with come fuck me eyes.

The ball player is now fully aware of his effect on the older man, and he’s playing it up to the fullest. Apparently attempting to get Jude to crack, and let Zero bend him over his desk and claim him in front of God and all his students. Fuck, Jude thinks pulling at his collar, that shouldn’t sound as hot as it does.

After Zero stayed the night they spent a glorious weekend getting to know each other’s bodies, and he’s pretty sure setting the world record for the most orgasms in a 48 hour period.

It started right out of the gate, when Jude was woken up the next morning to a blond head between his legs. Licking and sucking on his inner thigh, dragging his tongue up his awakening cock. When his hazy brain finally caught up with what was happening, it didn’t take long for him to be sucker punched by one of the most intense orgasms of his life. Not a bad way to wake up.

Thing is, it wasn’t only Zero’s body he wanted to get to know better, but also the man himself. Through all this self-denial shit they have been going through they never really got to know each other. Between their bouts of love making they spent hours talking. Finding out about their childhood, what their favorite bands and food were, and their dreams and ambitions. Both realizing how lucky they were, that they were pretty much doing things they dreamt of as kids.

It dawned on Jude that he may be in deeper than he thought, when Zero looked up at him with that grin, all tousled hair, and sleepy eyes. A sudden feeling rushing through him that he would love waking up every day with this man by his side.

But for now Jude has other matters to attend to. Like getting through the rest of this damn class without thoroughly embarrassing himself, and doing something stupid like starting to hump Zero’s leg.

Jesus…get it together, he mentally scolds himself. It was about that time he hears his phone buzz on his desk. Ignoring it, it goes off two more times in a row. He decides to quickly glance at it to see what the urgency was.

They’re from Zero. Of course.

_“You doing alright there, professor?”  
_

_“You’re looking a little flushed.”  
_

_“Anything I could help you out with??”  
_

Jude quickly glances up at Zero who’s looking down nonchalantly scribbling in his notebook. The little minx.

Jude’s flush grows deeper as he glances around feeling as if their secret is being completely exposed. 

He quickly text back. _“You better believe it, and it better be good considering the shit you’re putting me through.”_

Jude looks up at Zero. He has his head down reading the text, a smile slowly crossing his face. 

_“That, you can fucking count on.”_ His phone buzzes back. 

This time when he looks up he’s met with heated blue eyes looking back at him. 

His students start to get up to leave. “Please review chapter 22 class and we will have a discussion on it next week.” Jude calls out relieved the torture was soon to be over. 

Zero saunters up to his desk. He glances at the door watching his fellow classmates file out of the room. 

“It seems that we’re alone now professor.” He says looking back at Jude, after the last person leaves. “I’m ready and willing to be of any assistance.” He says setting his books down on the end of Jude’s desk. 

“Zero…” he groans as the blond walks to the door closing it and flipping the lock. He knows exactly where this is going, but he also knows it can’t happen. Not here. 

Jude stands as Zero slowly approaches him. Zero rest his hand on the side of Jude’s face, thumb tracing over his cheek. 

“Watching you get so turned on in front of the whole class, squirming in your seat…do you know what that does to me?” 

Jude felt himself get hot all over. “Zero…we can’t… not here” 

“You sure?” he responds licking his lips, as he reaches down rubbing at the bulge straining Jude’s pants.

Jude groans, as he helplessly pushes his hips into Zero’s palms. 

There has never been anyone before that has made Jude feel this way. There has never been anyone before that he would have risked his job for. 

He’s a psychology professor, for Christ sake, he _knows_ all about the temporary insanity people go through when they are in the haze of lust, or new love... _Amour fou,_ as the French would say. But Love? Is that what he’s going though? There’s no other way to explain the way he feels, to explain why he would even allow himself to consider this. But there is no stopping it. 

Jude knows it’s hopeless to fight the lust that’s surging through his veins. He slowly pushes Zero backwards leading him to the front of his desk. He figures if he’s going down that rabbit hole he’s doing it on his terms. 

Realizing Jude’s on board, Zero’s breath starts to pick up. He slides his hands up Jude’s chest taking a firm grip of his tie, pulling him closer. Before they know it they’re moaning into each other’s mouths.

 

 

\---------- 

 

Lionel huffs as she makes her way down the long hall. Besides the fact she adores the shit out of him, she’s not sure why she does the man any favors. If he thinks he’s too good to show up to committee meetings, well then shit, he should be left in the dark, why should she care? Jerk even left her hanging at that party a couple months ago, and she hasn’t seen or heard much from him since. 

In all honesty though, Lionel was starting to get a little concerned about her friend. The mandatory meeting that he missed didn’t go unnoticed by the board members, including the chancellor, Dr. Block. Not to mention some rumblings from students complaining that Professor Kinkaid seems a little out of it in class lately. 

So that’s why Lionel found herself hand delivering the meeting minutes to him in person. Doing it ‘90’s style, she huffs to herself as she turns the corner heading toward his classroom. 

As she walks up to the door she is surprised to find it shut. She looks at her watch. His class wasn’t over that long ago. Usually Jude lingers behind finishing up some paper work. Maybe he’s hiding from someone she smirks, thinking about how Danny drilled her for information about reasons why Jude won’t go out with him after their disastrous dinner date. She turns the handle to enter, finding it locked. 

“Jude!?” she calls out as she raps a few times on the door. 

 

 

\----------

 

 

Zero moans at the wet dream come true before him. Jude’s bent over his desk, pants and boxers pushed down to his knees, ass spread out before him like an offering. 

Zero licks down towards Jude’s spine to the crease of his ass. He drags his tongue along his balls, swirling it around against his puckered hole. Jude groans, pushing back further into the blond loving the scrap of stubble against his sensitive skin. 

“You like that professor?” He smirks, rubbing his face along his skin one more time, needing to hear more of those desperate sounds pouring out of Jude’s mouth. 

Zero circles his thumb around the area, pulling slightly on the skin, laving up and down his perineum. Jude squirms beneath him. He hardens his tongue, slipping it into the tight entrance. Jude whines deep in his throat as he reaches back spreading his legs further apart, as Zero pushes his strong tongue deeper in Jude, loosening him up. 

Jude’s rock hard cock is bobbing against the front of the desk, demanding attention. Zero reaches through his legs taking it in a firm grip. Stroking up and down, pre-come slicking the way. 

“Come on baby, need you inside me…now.” Jude pants looking over his shoulder at the younger man, arms grabbing the sides of his desk, knocking items across the floor. 

He doesn’t need to say it twice. Zero pulls back from Jude, pulling a condom out of his pocket. He quickly unzips his pants pulling out his cock. He rips it open, then rolls it on. Spiting on his hand stroking up and down his length as he pushes into Jude. 

Zero holds his hips steady, as he enters him. Slowly filling him up. He begins to thrust, slow and deep. 

“Fuuuk yeeah…harder…need it harder…” Jude moans, as Zero increases his speed using Jude’s shirt as leverage as he relentlessly pounds into the man. 

Zero leans down over Jude sucking and marking the side of Jude’s neck just above his collar. Jude hisses as he leaves a dark bruise in its wake. Zero licks the sting away. 

“You feel so fucking good bent over this desk. So hot and tight for me.” Zero whispers in Jude’s ear, hips thrusting, as he nips and bites at his lobe. 

Jude gasps, liquid fire rolling down his spine. His body tenses in a tight vice as his orgasm rips through him, spurt after spurt landing on the floor. Zero comes soon after with a shout, body tensing, as Jude’s fluttering walls grip him tight. 

He collapses on Jude. Their panting breaths filling the silence of the classroom. 

He kisses Jude’s check as he slowly pulls out. He pulls the condom off and wraps it in a tissue, throwing it in the trash. 

Zero helps Jude stand and turn, but he sits back down on the end of his desk, dizzy from their lovemaking. Zero gives Jude a dopey smile, heart feeling like its ten sizes too big for his chest. 

“That was…” Zero sighs. 

Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. “Jude?!” they hear a women call out. 

Zero meets Jude’s panicked eyes. “It’s Lionel.” He whispers, as he scrambles off the desk pulling his pants back up. 

“Shit.” Zero replies straightening himself up, quickly setting items he can find back on Jude’s desk. 

Jude slides around helping Zero scramble to put it all back together. 

“Are you alright, I hear you in there?!” She says, hearing rustling going on behind the door. 

“Ah…yeah…just hang on.” He shouts back trying to keep the panic out of his voice. 

“Go over there…” he says motioning to Zero to sit at his desk. “Actually no… stay over here, it looks better.” 

“Jude…calm down.” Zero says placing his hands on his shoulders. “Deep breath. She doesn’t know what we were doing.” The blond says, sounding much calmer then he feels. 

“Oh you don’t know Lionel.” he states eyes wide, panic setting in again. 

“Jude, what the fuck, you’re starting to freak me out, open the door!” she spats, jiggling the door handle. 

“Do I look ok?” He asked Zero. 

“Freshly fucked.” Zero answers with a sly grin. 

Raising his eyebrows, Jude gives him an expression that means he’s not fooling around. Zero gets the clue and picks up his books wiping the smirk off his face. 

Jude braces himself, and unlocks the door. 

“Jesus Jude, it sounded like you were moving furniture in here, what the hell?” she says storming in. 

She stops in her tracks when she sees the baller standing by Jude’s desk. 

“Everything alright?” she says, eyes narrowing on the blond. 

Jude clears his throat. “Yeah, just, uh going over some stuff with my student.” 

Lionel nods slowly taking in the scene around her. 

“Why are there school books, and pens on the floor over there?” she says pointing. 

Fuck Zero thinks, I missed those, as he looks down at the floor. “Oh, those are mine, that’s weird.” He huffs and he goes over to pick them up. 

“Um…Mr. Delaney is it?” she asks, looking at Zero as he nods his response. “Do you mind if I speak to the professor alone?” 

Zero bites his bottom lip as he glances over at Jude. “Yeah…no, of course not…thank you… professor for your help, I’m forever grateful…” he nods in Jude’s direction pausing for a moment, resisting the urge to wrap his arms around the man and kiss away his terrified look. 

He glances back one last time at Jude before he leaves. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Lionel. 

“Jude…what’s going on here?” she asks suspiciously. 

“Nothing…nothing’s going on.” He answers too fast, sitting quickly down at his desk. He has always been a shitty liar. 

“Uh huh.” she responds, walking closer to the man.  “Is that the same guy who was here with you when Danny invited you out to dinner?” 

“Yeah, so” Jude says shrugging, trying to play it off. 

She nods as the pieces start to click into place. 

“Yeah, so…” she repeats. “So why did he look like the cat who just ate the canary, and you… have this fresh hickey on your neck?” She says pulling his collar back. 

Jude reaches up gently touching the sensitive flesh. Oh fuck. 

“You’re messing around with a student Jude!? Are you serious!?” She screams, arms flung out to her sides. 

“Shhh…Jesus keep it down!” he says glancing toward the door. 

“Oh, now you’re suddenly worried!?” she huffs, unable to believe she is having this conversation. 

“It smells like spunk in here too you know!” Jude’s face burns crimson red, which confirms her suspicions. 

“In the classroom?! Are you nuts!? Who are you and what have you done with my friend?” 

“Lionel, please.” He says with pleading eyes. He knows it’s useless to deny it. He’s just lucky it was her and not someone else that knocked on his door. 

“This job is everything to you. And you’re risking it for what? A piece of ass?” she states, confused look on her face. 

Jude bristles. “No Lionel, he’s not just a piece of ass…he’s so much more.” 

She eyes her friend, he looks so stressed out, practically on the verge of tears. Her heart goes out to him. She knows he’s never going to open up to her if she keeps yelling at him. She takes a calming breath and continues. “Then please tell me Jude. What’s going on?” 

Jude leans back in his chair, looking up at the brunette. 

“I…” He begins, rubbing the back of his neck, not even sure where to start. “I fucked up bad Lionel. I crossed the line…several lines.” He huffs. 

“Damn right.” She says, crossing her arms. 

“It’s even more than what it looks like. I’m in deep. And I’m not sure I can get out of it, I’m not sure I want to get out of it.” 

“Oh Jude… when I said I wanted you to get a social life I didn’t mean with a student, you idiot.” She says deflating, sitting on the corner of his desk. 

“Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve wanted to work here. It’s all you could talk about. Drove me nuts.” She smirks giving him a fond look. 

“Does that kid know what this job means to you? What could happen to you because of what he’s done?” 

“That’s not fair Lionel. When I crossed that line the fault was with both of us, not just him.” He answers, looking her straight in the eyes. 

“You sure have a hell of a lot more to lose then him.” She scoffs, not buying it. “Listen, it’s your life. But I know you. This is something the old Jude would never do. I think before you take it any further with this kid, you make damn sure it'll be worth it.” 

She suddenly remembers the paper she’s holding, and hands it over to Jude. “Now I know why you’re so preoccupied. You know I can only cover for you for so long.” 

Jude takes the paper from her, glancing over it. He swallows thickly when he realizes his mistake. He’s never in his life been this irresponsible before. 

“If they find out about him you’ll lose your job, and you’ll be black marked. It will be near impossible for you to find another job at a University. Your career could be over.” She states matter of fact. 

She turns toward Jude, resting her hand on his. “You know I love you right?” She says giving him a crocked smile. He nods his head. “If you want someone to talk to, I’m here, ok?” 

“Yeah...thanks Lionel.” He answers with a sigh. 

“And besides you owe me anyway. Ditching me at that party.” She scoffs, as she stands up, straightening out her skirt. 

“You and your crazy ideas” he says chuckling. 

Lionel’s relieved to see a smile on the man’s face. “Oh Jude,” she says turning back before walking out the door, “You may want to clean the little mess up off the floor. Don’t want to leave behind any evidence.” She smirks. 

Jude groans as his head lands hard on his desk. Fuck, what has his life become.

 

 

\----------

  

 

Zero swears he’s going to wear a hole in the carpet from his relentless pacing. 

He’s been worried sick ever since leaving Jude’s office. His head is pounding from all the scenarios that have been playing in his head. 

The last text from Jude was three hours ago telling him that Lionel was gone, and he was going home. That he needed to be alone for a while. Then nothing more. Even after Zero sent several text, asking what happened. Nothing but radio silence. 

Zero is using every ounce of energy he has not to go to Jude's apartment right now. Ask him why he needs to be alone. Is he ok? Does she know? Is she going to tell anyone? Where does this leave us? 

God he pushed him too far. He should never have flirted like that with Jude in class. Should have listened to Jude when he said they couldn’t do that there. But no, Zero let his dick do the talking and relentlessly pushed him. Made him do something that could cause him his livelihood. Lose something that he loves, and wanted to do since childhood. 

He feels like a selfish prick. Only really thinking about himself. Not about what the older man could lose because of him. Now it might have cost Zero the best thing that has ever happened to him. 

“Fuck!” he shouts as he flops on his bed, running both hands through his hair. 

Zero lays down on his bed staring at his ceiling. He realizes at that moment he’s in love with the man. Madly, hopelessly. He thought it before, he absolutely knows it now. But there’s no way their relationship can work as long as he is a student at this University and Jude is a professor. 

He needs to take matters into his own hands. Fate and all that. He’s not going to wait around for it, he’s going to make it come to him. Feeling like everything is coming down to this very moment it suddenly becomes very clear what needs to be done. 

He gets up and grabs his cell phone. He scrolls through his contacts dialing up a number. 

It rings a few times. “Hello.” A deep voice answers.

“Coach Alford? Hey it’s Zero Delaney. Yeah, yeah…good, thanks. Listen, I was wondering if you and Dan Guerrero could meet me some time tomorrow at the Pavilion. I…ah…have some things I really need to discuss with you.

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy the conclusion of my story. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, although it turned out way more then I intended it to be! The story just kind of wrote itself! Thank you to those who gave kudos, and commented. It is very appreciated!

Jude was so wrong thinking the time away from Zero would clear his head, and possibly help him come up with solutions. It’s been almost a week since he saw the blond, and all it’s done is make him long for him even more.

Jude could see the alarm rising in each consecutive text that came from Zero, until he just stopped altogether. A flare of panic went through Jude at the thought of Zero just giving up on them, but Jude doesn’t blame him. You can only take rejection for so long.

He feels like a coward leaving Zero high and dry, not even letting him know what happened with Lionel. But what would he say? That Lionel was the voice of wisdom and concern? That she helped Jude look at reality and see through his fog of desire? That the two men really shouldn’t be together? 

Zero just can’t understand. How could he understand? He’s a 21 year old college student that has never had a career he’s worked years to attain. Zero has his basketball with so many opportunities in front of him. This is all Jude has. He knows what he has to do. It’s the only option. But why does the thought of not having Zero in his life make him feel completely numb and hollow inside.

Jude grabs his jacket, feeling like these four walls are closing in on him. Some fresh air and a long walk will do him some good. 

He steps out of his apartment heading down the sidewalk. He’s always loved this part of Westwood with the tree lined streets and lit up sidewalks. It was his favorite part of the day just before dusk. He took a deep breath of the crisp air, and dug his hands further in his pockets, as he picked up his pace.

He walked down Wilshire Blvd, heading through Westwood Village, passing crowds of college kids pouring out of the Bruins Theater. He wandered down Montana Ave and up Main Street. Deep in his thoughts he was unaware two hours have passed. He found himself standing in front of a familiar door. 

The light on the porch was off, but he saw some lights on inside the house. Ringing the doorbell he shivers a little, just realizing how much the temperature has dropped since he left his apartment.

He squints as the brightness of the light floods the porch. The door cracks open as Lionel peeks out.

“Jude?” She says surprised to see the man.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, looking at his windblown hair and reddened checks. “Oh my God…did you walk here?!” She exclaims, eyes wide.

“Yeah.” He huffs. “I guess I did.”

“Oh honey, come in. You look freezing.” she says swinging the door open, and moving out of his way.

He walks into her foyer, as she takes his arm tugging him along. “Come on, I’m gonna make you something warm to drink, and you can tell me why in the world you just walked 5 miles when you could have taken your car.”

“Coffee good?” she asks as she walks up to the counter.

“Yeah, great. Thanks.” He states unzipping his jacket and placing it on the back of the chair before sitting down.

After preparing the coffee, she takes a seat across from him. She looks over at her friend with a concerned look in her eyes.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but did your car break down? You could have taken the bus, or hell I would have picked you up!”

“No, it’s…not my car. I just needed time to think and walking helps me do that.” He answers.

She doesn’t need to ask about what. She knows the turmoil her friend is currently going through. 

“I’ve made my decision about what I’m going to do.” He continues, trepidation in his voice.

She sits up straight leaning on the table, watching him with rapt attention.

“I’m putting in my resignation.” He says looking down at his hands. “I think it’s best to leave the University. Cal State Long Beach is hiring, and I’m pretty sure I could get in. I could get a fresh start.”

“But you don’t want to work at Cal State.” She answers knowingly. 

“A college is a college. They’re all the same.” He responds unconvincingly. 

“Uh huh, right. So apparently I’m currently talking to the same quasi-Jude who earlier stole my friend and all his senses.” She huffs, shaking her head.

“Even if Zero has given up on us, it’s what I have to do. I can’t be in that classroom and see him every day, knowing what we’ve done. Knowing I can’t have him.”

“Oh Jude. You really do care about him.” Lionel says taking his hands in hers. “Are you sure? Have you told Zero?”

“We haven’t seen each other in six days Lionel. I haven’t heard from him in five. I think he got scared and decided I’m not worth it.” He says, sadness in his voice.

“Has it dawned on you maybe he’s just giving you some space? Why do you automatically think someone has given up on you?” 

“Guess my dad got me used to that thought.” He says with a sigh.

She squeezes his hand. “Now none of that talk. Not in my house, anyway. You’re so much more than your dad will ever be, and don’t you forget it. And if this Zero kid bails on you this easily he’s probably not worth your time anyway.” She says getting up to get their coffee. 

“But even if you are not going to be together, this is a big deal Jude. And he probably deserves to know you’re going to do this. He at least should know the magnitude of what his actions caused.” She says placing the coffee in front of Jude.

“I don’t know Lionel. There’s no reason he needs to know. What can he do? It’s best I just leave the University quietly and let him go about his life.”

“Hmmm why for some reason do I think that won’t go over very well with him?” she says fingers on her chin.

“Listen, just stay here tonight. I’ll go get some pillows and blankets and we can continue this conversation when you don’t look dead on your feet.” She says, giving him a little smile.

“Yeah, ok. Sounds good.” He says, nodding his head relieved that he doesn’t have to be alone tonight.

She gets up to get the items for the couch. He takes her hand as she passes. “Thank you Lionel…you’re the best you know?” He says sincerity shining through his eyes.

“You better believe it.” She grins with a wink, as she ruffles his hair. 

 

\----------

 

The sight of the brunette sitting behind his desk is like a shot of pure oxygen to Zero. He feels like he can breathe again. This past week of not seeing Jude has felt like ten weeks. 

Zero takes his seat looking up at the man. He looks tired, and a little disheveled, yet he’s the most beautiful thing Zero has ever seen. 

Zero decided to give the man some space, and stop sending frantic texts. By doing that he was able to concentrate on his action plan, and just get down to business. He was shocked at how quickly Coach Alford and the athletic director got on board with his plan. Telling him this was already something that was in the works, and all Zero had to do was give the go ahead. They even met all his needs and demands.

He’s not sure how Jude’s going to take it, but he hopes he understands that this was done with Jude in the forefront of his mind. This will at least give them an opportunity to start what he knows will be a wonderful life together. 

Jude walks up to the front of the class clearing his throat. 

“Ah…I have an announcement to make class.” Zero’s eyes narrow in on the man. “I will be having a substitute for at least the next few weeks. I will still have office hours through next week, but after that you will have to go to the new professor for any questions or problems.”

He figures this will ease them into getting use to him being gone, with his class finding out eventually that he’s not returning. 

He gets several gasps, and why’s coming from the group. Jude smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes Zero notices. “You all will be fine. I just have to take care of some personal issues that requires me to be away.”

The rest of the class was torture for Zero. Wondering what the hell is going on with Jude. 

The class shuffles out, with several students commenting to their professor about how much they will miss him, and they’re not sure how they’re going to do it without him. It gave Jude a warm feeling inside, but that was quickly replaced with the sad thought that he might not ever see these students again.

Not surprising to Jude, the blond remained behind. Confusing and fear swirling in his eyes.

“Where are you going?” he asks right away, desperate to know what’s going on.

Jude looks down unable to meet his eyes. He has thought about it and Lionel is right. The man deserves to know what Jude’s plans are. 

“I’m resigning from my position Zero. I…I’m gonna look for a new job at another University. You can move on with your life now without fear of fallout or repercussions.”

“What?! Fallout or repercussions?! I don’t give a fuck about any of that anymore. Moving on with my life is moving on with you Jude.”

Jude quickly looks up at the blond. Surprise in his eyes. “But I thought these days away you decided it wasn’t worth it.”

“It wasn’t worth it?!” he responds digging a paper out of his backpack. “This is what I was doing this past week.” Zero hands him the paper. 

“What’s this?” Jude asks, 

“Read it professor.” Zero responds, anticipation surging through him.

Jude starts reading through it. “Zero…is this? Holy shit…this is a contract for the Los Angeles Devils! You…you’re being recruited to the Devils basketball team?!” he asks eyes wide with shock unable to believe what he’s reading.

“But… how?” Jude says trailing off.

“Apparently Coach Alford declared me for the draft months ago, knowing I was interested and the Devils were interested, but thought I wouldn’t be talking about actual offers until next year when I graduated. I just sped up the process a little.” He says beaming.

“What about school, what about…?” Jude stops as his stomach sinks, thinking it really is over between them.

“Keep readin’.” He says wide grin on his face.

Jude is so dumbfounded at the words in front of him he starts reading them out loud. “Zero Delaney will finish his University education online and will accept the offer with the Los Angeles Devils under the condition he is allowed to be out in open about his sexuality.” 

“Zero.” Jude says breathless. “What did they say?”

“Do you see my signature along with theirs on the bottom? That’s what they said, stipulations accepted.” He drags his finger along the line to emphasis his point.

“We won’t have to hide our relationship ever again.” 

Jude is out of his seat flying into his arms. “Oh my God, this is unbelievable.”

Zero pulls back looking him square in the eyes. “Yeah, and the best part about this… you can stay at this University. There’s no way I would let you walk away from this job. It’s too important to you, and you’re too important to me.” Zero says, eyes getting misty.

“I knew the ball was in my court. Pun intended.” He smirks. “And that I had to do something to salvage us. After being a selfish bastard and only thinking with my dick I needed you to understand how much I do respect you and care about you.”

Jude felt overcome with a joy he’s never felt before. He is amazed he did all of this for him, and he says so. “I would do anything for you, I love you stupid” Zero replies, smiling at the man he adores.

"I love you too Zero.” He answers, pulling the man in for a searing kiss. 

“A pro-basketball player huh? You know, I’ve always had this fantasy of being a sports agent.” Jude pants into Zero’s mouth.

“Oh yeah? Sounds interesting…” Zero whispers, nipping and sucking at Jude’s ear lobe. “You want to run the show huh? I like that” He groans, getting turned on at the thought.

“I see a little role play action in our future.” Zero grins, with heated eyes. “I can see you all straight laced and uptight, showing up in your suits, needing someone to come in there and loosen you up.” He says, rubbing his hard cock against Jude’s.

“Shit…we better…” Zero huffs looking around, as he takes a step back. Realizing they are working themselves up into a frenzy. “Don’t want to derail all we worked for.”

“Yeah, right.” Jude nods, composing himself. "Come on, let’s go tell Lionel the news, I’m sure she’s going to be very happy to hear it.”

“Yeah and after, I have some negotiations I really need to discuss with you agent.” Zero says, rubbing the stubble on his face.

“I…think Lionel can probably wait a little longer to hear about our news.” Jude says, voice deep with desire, when he sees the heat in the baller’s eyes. 

“Most definitely.” He says beaming at Jude, as he follows him out the door, and into a future with endless possibilities.


End file.
